The lost ones
by malifcbfan1899
Summary: Unlike her brothers and twin sister, Jamie Lightwood has never thought of Jace Wayland as of her brother. He's her best friend, the one she'd give up everything for and who feels the same way about her. But, when he starts to seriously fall for another girl, Jamie finds herself torn between worry for Jace and jealousy of the girl who's taking him away from her. I don't own TMI.
1. Prologue - part one: Jamie

**So, this is the first chapter of my new story. I know some things aren't the same as in the books, but it's mostly done to accommodate the story to my OC. After all, Izzy doesn't have a twin sister in TMI, so I had to make room for her :) Each chapter is written in first person, but from another point of view. I'll write the name of the character in the chapter's tittle, so you don't get confused. I already know whose point of views will the three parts of prologue and the first chapter be from ( yeah, I know it's a long prologue, but I hope it'll be worth, it's about the events that happen before CoB, the story in the actual first chapter/ fourth to-be-published happen at the beginning of CoB ), but feel free to suggest whose point of view I should use for the chapters after. I'm not promising that I'll use every suggestion, but I'll definitely think over them and see how they would fit into my idea of the story.**

**Without further delaying, here is the first part of the prologue. I hope you'll enjoy :)**

"Doesn't he have anywhere else to go?" I cross my arms over my chest, trying to look dangerous, but knowing that I actually look like a stubborn child. Deep down I know that, in fact, I am one. But, I'm still trying.

It's not really working anyway, since the person I am trying to frighten is my mother, whose patience I've been testing for the last few days. I can see she is almost at the edge and that my complaining is just making everything worse. If she wasn't holding Max and trying to lull him to sleep, she would probably yell at me. And the woman really has good lungs, I've experienced the power of her voice enough times. Luckily, in this situation, she just frowns. May the Angel bless my younger brother.

I definitely can't say the same for my big brother and my twin sister. They are just standing next to me in silence, a true picture of obedient children. They glance at me every couple of seconds, like they were embarrassed, begging me soundlessly to shut up, but it just makes me more eager to keep complaining.

We all wear our best clothes, like the Consul himself is coming. I laugh at myself at the thought that nobody could notice us in the dark street because we all wear black. Well, except for Max, who wears mundane red T-shirt and blue jeans. If we were out there in the mundane world, setting a trap for demons, he'd ruin us right away.

Alec, my big brother, wears pants and shirt and there is a light-yellow tie around his neck, one of Dad's really old ones. I notice he even put a bit of hair-gel. His back are completely upright. My guess is that he hopes to be the tallest child in the room even after next few moments. But, it makes him look like he has just swallowed a broom. I find his pretending to be something more than an eleven year-old ridiculous, but since I always try to look older than I actually am, I restrain myself from laugh and comments.

Next to me, Isabelle looks adorable in her calf-length dress. She is a miniature version of Mum, having the same black hair and dark brown eyes. We are twins, but not identical ones. We share the hair-colour and we are almost equally tall, but I have blue eyes, like Alec. But, that doesn't help me at all. When people see Isabelle, one can see on their faces they think she is the prettiest creature that has ever walked the face of the Earth. She has long black hair that reaches half of her back, cute small nose, a gorgeous smile; practically everything. One can see that Mum is very proud when she talks about Isabelle and when people say Isabelle looks just like her.

I'm exactly the opposite. My hair barely reaches top of my neck. I still remember the times when I had long hair and how it distracted me while I was doing practically everything. I have no idea how Isabelle copes with her hair. I have mine cut the moment it passes the line of my neck. Unlike Isabelle, I don't know how to laugh quietly and lady-like. If I find something to be amusing, the whole room knows about it, because I burst out laughing in a second. Since I love to read, Mum has even taken me to a mundane library a couple of times. There I've found a story about a wooden puppet whose nose has grown long because he'd been lying. I don't think I've said too many lies during my nine-year-long life, but I still feel like I share the puppet's fate.

Unfortunately, it's not the Consul that is coming. In a few minutes or so, our father should be back. It's not his arrival that bothers me. It's the fact that he shouldn't be alone, although my hopes haven't completely abandoned me yet. A boy should come with him. And he should stay with us because we are meant to be his new family.

I don't like that. He's not a Lightwood. He doesn't belong with us. But, whenever I try to explain it to Mum, I end up punished. She sends me to bed without dinner or forbids me to go to the weapons-room or to the library. She knows my weak spots and uses them against me.

But, the boy not being a Lightwood is not the true reason for my resistance. With Alec being the oldest and first child, Isabelle being so perfect and Max being the youngest, the last thing I need is another person to compete against. I've been losing the fight against the first born one, the perfect one and the one who must to be taken care of. What chance do I have against an orphan then?

But, I keep complaining. I can't help it. I mean, I can, but I don't want to. I don't want some strange kid to come to live with us.

"Why does he have to live with us?" I ask again, considering Mum's anger has cooled down enough. "It's not our fault that ... "

"Jacqueline, stop it." she interrupts me, and I feel like her gaze is piercing my skull. "How can you act like that? He's just lost his father. You should feel sorry for him. What if your father and I got killed and you had nowhere to go?"

That makes me shut up for few moments, but no more. He's worthy of pity, but that does not mean we should let him to live with us. He can find pity elsewhere.

"I wouldn't be coming to live with a family that doesn't want me." I mumble for myself, but she still hears me. I love the fact that my whole family, myself included, are Shadowhunters, but there are still times that I curse our powers, like a good sense of hearing. This is one of those times.

"Jacqueline!" she still bothers to sound shocked, although she has been familiar with my opinion of this matter for a long time. And she knows how much I hate to hear my name, so there is another one of my weak spots. "You'd better get used to him being here. Otherwise, you'll have to stay locked in your room to avoid him. I won't even have to bother to punish you."

"I'll kick him out of the Institute." I say, clenching my fists. "This is my home, not his."

"C'mon, Jacqueline." Alec supports Mum, that's obvious. He'd never use my first name if he was on my side. "You'll get another brother. You should be happy about that."

"I'm still trying to get rid of the last one I got." I reply, but with a big grin on my face. Everyone knows I adore Max. We play together every day, even though he's just two years old. Our favourite game is making faces. I always make the funniest ones, I'm unbeatable at it. He laughs like crazy when he sees me touching my nose with my tongue. So I do it for him right now, partly to make him laugh, but partly to distract myself so I can forget for a moment that I still haven't got what I want.

"Max!" I call for him and wait for his sleepy eyes to open completely. "Look at me."

The moment I perform my show, he is completely awake and ecstatic. He reaches for me with his little hands, thinking it is time for playing.

"'Line!" he doesn't use the nickname I picked for myself, but even ''Line' is better than 'Jacqueline'. I have no idea what Mum was thinking when she gave me that name. It's horrible. If I had a daughter, I would never, ever, name her 'Jacqueline'.

"He was just about to fall asleep!" Mum sighed. "Do you have to do that all the time?"

I want to say 'yes', but with my tongue touching my nose, I only produce a hiss and accidentally spit at Max and Mum. He thinks I'm funny. She doesn't.

"Jacqueline, enough." she rolls her eyes.

The elevator suddenly opens and we see two men coming out of it. Actually, only one of them is old enough to be called a man. That's my father, Robert Lightwood. He walks fast, leaving the other silhouette few steps behind. He approaches to Mum first and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Welcome home." she says, but there is no real happiness in her voice.

I raise an eyebrow, but keep my mouth shut. I have bigger problems than my parents' relationship at the moment.

Dad caresses Max's head and even smiles at him. It's nice to see him smiling. I've been told multiple times that I smiled like he did. That fact makes me proud.

But, I'm disappointed when he doesn't greet the rest of us one at the time. He's distracted by the approach of the boy.

I study him carefully. The first thing I notice is his eyes. They are gold like leaves in autumn. I have never seen such eyes. But, there is more to them than their colour, I know it, but I can't guess what exactly. They hide in shadows, like the boy doesn't want any of us to see what lies beyond them. He avoids looking at us and just stares at the floor.

"Alexander, Isabelle, Jacqueline." Dad points at the boy. "This is Jonathan Wayland."

"Hi." Alec and Isabelle say as one, but I'm still staring soundlessly at the boy.

_Look at me._ I don't say it out loud, because it would make me look ridiculous. Even worse, my family could think that I've changed my mind about him staying with us. But, I haven't. It's just my curiosity getting the best of me. But, it won't last, I swear. _Look at me, damn it._

"Jacqueline, won't you greet Jonathan?" my mind-talk is interrupted by Dad's voice.

But, Dad's words served its purpose. Jonathan raised his head and looked at me.

For a moment, I desperately want to look away. I even try, but I can't. Those gold eyes are so penetrating. They make me freeze at the spot, like I have suddenly turned into a stone. But, it seems like this is a two-way line. Like our minds have somehow connected, suddenly I notice slight changes in his expression. And I know what he's thinking. I surprised him because I hadn't greeted him. He had expected me to be a good little girl who obeys her parents' every word. Now his eyes are captivating mine, not letting me go until he is done. He judges me, forms an opinion that won't be so easily changed. He doesn't plan to be surprised the next time.

But, I don't intend to let him to find out my thoughts. I find strength to look away from him and face Dad's strict gaze.

"If I wanted him to be here, then I would." I say it loudly, making every member of my family except for Max gasping.

I glance at Jonathan for a moment, wondering if he has been hurt by my words. His eyes are still on me. Maybe he thinks that looking in his eyes will make feel ashamed of myself.

But, there's no chance for that to happen. I don't want him here. I am not afraid of speaking my mind. After all, I was taught not to lie.

Suddenly, I feel someone grabbing my shoulder. The hand grabs me so roughly that I almost lose my balance. Luckily, the dress isn't long enough for me to stumble over it. I manage to restore balance, but now I have to see who has caused this earthquake around me. As I've thought, I am facing Dad.

"Go to your room." he says sharply. "You're not coming out until you decide to apologize."

"Can I decide to apologize, come out and then change my mind?" I push it as much as I can, not caring about crossing the line. I don't want the boy to stay here. This place is overcrowded for me even without him. I'm tired of fighting to be noticed. If I can't do it any other way, I will be as rude as possible.

Dad's face frowns ever more than before. I have never seen him this angry. I realize that if I say one more thing, he will slap me. Neither he nor Mum does that often, only when we are really way over the line. Mostly, it is always I who is way over the line. Alec – rarely as snow in July, Isabelle – never. I'm the troublemaker. Sometimes I even like to be one, but it has its consequences.

My pulse increases and for the first time today I'm truly afraid. I know I should keep my mouth shut now and do as he says. But, then I glance at Jonathan again.

There is _a smile_ on his face. He thinks that me being grounded again is funny. My words haven't hurt him at all. He knows he is beating me, because my family is on his side. That restores all of my courage. He will learn soon enough what happens if he laughs at me.

"If that's the case, I'll never leave my room again." I rouse out of Dad's grip and make few steps backwards, glancing at all of them. "I'll just starve to death."

The moment I said those words, I start to run. I know Mum and Dad will catch me in a matter of seconds, but I continue to run like a demon army is hunting me. One corridor after another, I'm getting lost in the labyrinth. Every room seems like a poor hiding place, so I move on and on.

After few minutes, I have to stop to catch my breath. I turn around, ready to face an inevitable punishment, but the corridor behind me is empty. Nobody follows me. I am all alone.

It is an advantage I haven't hoped to have. I have a chance to hide properly. Luckily, the Institute is big, so it will take time for them to find me. I've run by so many rooms and they will have to search them all.

There are five doors in this corridor. I pick the fourth one, hoping it is the least obvious choice. It's not the first or the last, nor that in the middle and it's not a choice that tries to fool the hunters by not choosing the first, but the second door. Yeah, the fourth door is ideal.

I enter the room. It looks like any other room in the Institute, with one bed, one cabinet, few shelves and a door that leads to bathroom. Good enough for me.

I crawl in under the bed, ignoring dust that fills my nostrils. I hit the bed with my head once, but it doesn't stop me. After few moments of making myself comfortable, I'm finally satisfied with my hiding place. I lie with my belly against the floor, my chin leaned on my hands. I notice the black sleeves of my dress have become grey, but I don't care, in fact, the scene makes me smirk. I have never been fond of dresses, so ruining one amuses me more than it makes me worried.

I prick up my ears, looking after sounds of footsteps. They will find me, I know it. It's inevitable. I've made them angry and I will have to face the consequences of my words. But, I won't make it any easier to them. If they want to punish me, firstly they will have to find me.

* * *

I have been waiting for hours. Nobody's coming and I wonder if it's possible that they have forgotten about me.

_No, they wouldn't._ I'm trying to convince myself, but I feel my hands shaking on the thought. _They want me to think they have. They think I will get scared and come out. Nice try._

So I remain lying under the bed, determined to make them look for me. I want to stay awake in case they finally show up, but boredom and fatigue soon make me start to yawn. After a couple of seconds I'm already sleeping.

* * *

When I wake up, the room is dark as a cave. My whole body aches and I notice I'm not lying in my soft bed, but on the floor. I haven't fallen off the bed since I was six, but I guess it can happen anytime. So I start to stand up straight.

Suddenly I hit my head against something. I have no idea what is happening and who put a damn shelf somewhere over my bed. I try again, but with the same result. Luckily, I'm smart enough not to try it for the third time. I pull my witchlight out of my pocket, thanking the Angel I never separate from it. When it is lit, I stretch my hand out and see something made of wood just few centimetres above my face.

I force my blurred mind to remember what had happened before I fell asleep. I start with the today's morning, that's the easiest way to remember the rest. I skip the boring parts like washing my teeth and such. I remember how I beat both Alec and Isabelle on this morning's training at throwing blades. I love doing that, both throwing blades and beating Alec and Isabelle. It makes me feel great. It makes me feel like I'm not a lost case.

Then it was lunch and then I had to put a dress on. Because the strange boy was going to come. And then he came. And then I said those words to my family. And then I ran away. And I've been hiding since.

I have no idea how much time has passed since I fell asleep, but my stomach reminds me I haven't eaten anything since lunch. I roll to the left. After roll and a half, there is more light than under the bed. It's coming through the window, meaning that New York is still awake.

I come closer to the door and open it carefully. The corridor is completely dark. I raise the hand with witchlight and start to walk slowly through the corridor. For a moment, I'm scared that I won't find the way to the kitchen, but then I force myself to stay calm. Just because it's dark and desolated, it's still the Institute where I live and which I know like the palm of my hand. I know how to find my way. I just have to focus. And stop thinking about how some demon is going to jump out of the darkness and strangle me.

_Bad thoughts, bad thoughts._ I rebuke myself. _Think of ... of ... sandwich. Yeah, a tasty sandwich with butter and honey. And a cup of tea. And a chocolate bar for dessert._

That distracts me long enough. I am so focused on my sandwich that I almost miss the corridor that leads to the kitchen. When I realize I recognize where I am, I wish to jump and sing in happiness. But, since the rest of the Institute is silent as a grave, I restrain myself. Everything has turned out pretty good for me, since I've avoided seeing anyone for the rest of the day after the fight, I'd have to be dumb to ruin that now. And I don't consider myself dumb.

I grab the doorknob and open the door. They resist for a moment, enough to creak.

"Damn it!" I swear under my breath and glance over my shoulder, making sure there is no light turning on in the corridor.

I close the door as fast as I can and then turn around, ready to open the fridge and enjoy a little private feast. But, my intentions are ruined when I notice someone is already here. There is another witchlight on the table, but there is not enough light to recognize the intruder. But, the game of elimination always helps. The person is too short to be Mum or Dad or Hodge and has hair too short to be Isabelle. Unless he hasn't grown a meter and a half since I saw him today, it can't be Max either.

"Alec?" I ask with hope in my voice, but I know it's not him before he answers. My older brother sleeps like a log. He never gets up during the night.

That leaves only one option. And I don't like it at all.

"Jonathan." I growl, frowning at him.

He turns around and looks at me.

"Will you make up your mind?" there is a smirk on his face. "Am I Alec or Jonathan?"

"Alec is my _brother_." I emphasize the word that describes the difference between him and Alec the best. "You mean absolutely nothing to me."

"And you mean absolutely nothing to me." he says and takes a gulp of yogurt. "I guess that makes us even."

"It doesn't." I cross my arms over my chest. "This is my home, not yours."

He swallows abruptly, giving me the satisfaction of seeing that my words have affected him. I'm waiting to see if he has a smart answer for that too. But, his voice sounds completely honest when he says:

"I didn't choose to come here."

_I mustn't soften up to him._ I warn myself. _This is my chance to say everything to his face without being disturbed. He's not my brother. And he never will be._

"Trust me, neither did I." I make my way past him, taking the butter out of the fridge. "I don't want you here, orphan. Go away."

I pretend cold and indifferent while I'm looking for honey, bread and a knife. He says nothing. I hear him drinking the yogurt slowly, gulp by gulp, like he wishes that bottle never empties. I smile at myself, knowing I'm succeeding. If I show him how unwanted he is, he will run away. He will leave us alone. And that's all I want.

I sit down and start making a sandwich. Just its scent is enough for me to feel the sweet taste of honey on my tongue. I can barely force myself to finish making the sandwich, especially because it has been long since my last meal. But, after few minutes, a piece of bread with fat layer of butter and honey is ready to be eaten. I'm so hungry that charge it like a wolf attacking its prey. I'm done in a minute, so I start making another one.

"If I had anywhere else to go, I'd go there." Jonathan says suddenly.

I completely forgot he was still there. His voice frightened me, making me drop the knife. But, I'd die sooner than admit that.

"Damn it!" I swear loudly enough for him to hear me, pretending I cut myself. I put my thumb in my mouth, like I'm trying to stop the bleeding.

But, because I'm too busy enjoying my little show, I'm not fast enough to pick up the knife. Suddenly, Jonathan appears next to me and the knife lies on his palm.

"You dropped this." his voice is much calmer than before.

"Don't you fawn on me!" I frown again. "You're wasting your time. You are not my family. And you never will be. I don't care whether your Dad was killed or not. You're not getting mine."

His golden eyes flash in the light of witchlight. For a moment, we stare at each other and I see tears in corners of his eyes. But, then he turns around, grabs his witchlight and walks toward the door.

But, I won't let this to end here. I'm finally beating him. I will finish him off today.

"What is it, orphan? The truth hurts?" I smirk.

He stops. I look at his back for a very long minute. Then he turns around and faces me again.

"You're obviously honest to the death. So, I have a question for you." he says. There is a weird expression on his face that it takes few moments for me to recognize. It's that judging expression that I saw this afternoon. "What's your problem with me?"

I'm taken aback by his directness. I try not to show it, but it beats me. And there is something about the way he said I was honest to the death. It's weird, but it sounded more like a compliment than mockery to me. And I had promised myself that I would tell everything to his face. Even now I don't want to lie; not for his sake, but for my own.

"I already have too many siblings." my tone is gentle, so he wouldn't get the wrong impression. "I mean, I love them, all of them, but sometimes I feel like I can't compare with them. And with you here, I ... "

"You think your parents will care more about me than about you." he finishes my sentence when I don't feel I can say those words out loud.

I nod, avoiding his gaze. I don't want him to take pity on me. I'm strong; I can fight this feeling of loneliness. I don't need him to do it for me.

Now I'm already regretting my words. I shouldn't have told him anything. I should have kept my shut. But, like always, my mouth has been faster than my brain.

"I won't get in your way." I hear his voice, but he is closer than before. I raise my head and see that he's standing right next to me. "I ... I don't want to stand between you and your family. I promise."

"Don't promise something you can't fulfil." I shake my head with a sad smile on my lips, returning my gaze on the table in front of me.

My family will make sure he has everything he needs, ask him if everything is alright, if there is something they can do to help him with his burden. Until they get used to him being around, they will watch over him. It could take years before they remember I still exist. They didn't look for me today. That describes perfectly how unimportant I am to my family now.

Suddenly, there is a sound close to me. A chair is creaking as he sits down. His gold eyes reflect the light of the witchlight in his hand.

"Believe me, I wish I still ... " suddenly, he is the one who can't finish the sentence.

I owe him one. So I return the favour.

"You wish you still lived with your Dad." I say and he nods.

It seems like he can't continue on his own. The light in his eyes has become different than before, more blurred. I can't see his face very well, but I could swear he is crying.

For the first time, I actually sympathize with him. I can't even imagine a world without my Dad. And his has been killed. I was told his mother had died when he was born. I bite my lip, remembering the awful word I've called Jonathan: "orphan". I hate myself so much for it right now. I should never have let that word cross my lips.

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

That makes him look at me again.

"You have nothing to apologize for." there is firmness in his voice, but I hear he tries to hide the truth about his feelings. "It's not your fault."

I stare at him quizzically for a moment, not understanding how he can say it's not my fault. But, then I realize he's talking about his father's murder.

"I'm not apologizing for that." I say. "I'm sorry for calling you an orphan."

He just shrugs.

"Well, that's what I am now, isn't it?" he rubs his eyes and yawns, but I know that yawn is just for the show. He is pretending that he is tired, so he can wipe away the tears from his eyes without showing the weakness.

"But, me saying it out loud isn't helping." I point out quietly.

He doesn't answer.

My opinion of him is becoming better and better with every second that passes. I've noticed he's much like me. We are not afraid of speaking our minds and we don't want others to see our weaknesses. Despite what happened to him, he remains strong because he is a fighter. I admire him for that. And then I realize I am ready to give him a chance. If he is like me, he will understand me. I will have him by my side and therefore I won't feel lonely.

"Look, I know we kind of started on a wrong foot." I say and wait for him to look at me again. When he does, I continue. "But, I think we should start all over again."

For a moment, he looks like he is going to reject my offer. But, then he nods.

"OK." that is the only thing he says.

"OK." I repeat, take a deep breath and then stretch my hand out. "My name is Jacqueline Stephanie Lightwood. But, if you ever call me any of those names, you'll be dead in less than five seconds."

That scatters all of his sadness. I can tell my words amuse him.

"If I can't use any of your names, how should I call you?" he shakes my hand. A grin appears on his lips and I feel somehow proud of myself. I've managed to distract him from the dark thoughts in his mind and to make him smile. It's quite an achievement, if I may say so myself.

"Jamie." I reply. "I made it up. It's like a puzzle made of my first and my second name."

"Why isn't 'Jackie' then?" he asks and a cunning shine in his eyes shows me that he thinks he has gotten me into a trap, but I already have an answer ready.

"'Jackie' is too similar to 'Jacqueline' and I hate my first name." I explain, but I can't help myself but to add: "And 'Jamie – the-best-Shadowhunter-in-the-world' sounds much better."

"I'd prefer 'Jackie', but that's just me." I know he's teasing me, so I don't let him have the pleasure of seeing me annoyed. But, talking about my nickname gives me an idea.

"We should give you a nickname." I say enthusiastically. "Jonathan is way too long and it's too formal, it sounds like you're eighty years old. So, what's your second name?"

His gaze becomes a bit sceptical, but he still answers.

"Christopher."

"Jonathan Christopher." I repeat, trying to think of a good nickname. It takes few minutes, but then I come up with one.

"I have a perfect nickname for you." I point with my finger at him. "Jace. How's that sound?"

"Jace." he says, trying the nickname on his lips. "I can go with it, I guess. 'Jace – the-best-Shadowhunter-in-the world' sounds pretty good."

"Hold on!" I shake my head. "You can only get 'Jace – the-second-best-Shadowhunter-in-the-world'. 'Cause I'm the best one. Or I'm certainly going to be one day."

He laughs. For the first time since I met him, he laughs out loud. And I can't deny that I like that sound. It's a bit secretive, a bit amused, a bit devoted, all at the same time.

"I guess I have no choice now." he says, but his eyes are now completely fixed on mine.

I'm slightly uncomfortable with those eyes staring at me like that, but I don't want to show it, so I start to babble.

"Of course not. It's kind of tradition to have a nickname in this Institute." nothing better crossed my mind. "Only our parents call my brother 'Alexander'. It's also too long and sounds like he's ninety, not eleven. So Isabelle, Max, Hodge and I call him 'Alec'. You've met Hodge, haven't you?"

"I have." he replies, but doesn't go into details. I couldn't have been special, so I don't push the subject.

"I always forget 'Max' is a nickname too." I smile when I think of my younger brother. "His name is actually 'Maxwell', but can you imagine calling a cute little two-year-old 'Maxwell'? Like I'm talking to grandpa. Except for I wouldn't call grandpa his name, but 'grandpa', but you know what I mean."

For a reason I can't guess, he grins again. I pretend not to notice. When he agreed we should start our acquaintance all over again, he accepted to handle my sometimes unstoppable talking.

"You may call Isabelle 'Isabelle', but when she's in an extremely good mood, she'll let you call her 'Izzy'. I explain further. "We kind of forced her to have a nickname. She thinks her name is pretty. But, if you ask me, it sounds like a seventy-year-old lady. 'Izzy' sounds much better."

"If 'Jonathan' sounds like eighty-year-old, 'Alexander' like ninety-year-old, 'Maxwell' like 'grandpa' and 'Isabelle' like seventy-year-old, where is 'Jacqueline' on that scale?" he asks and I finally realize what's the reason for his grin.

"'Jacqueline' is the worst." I sigh overdramatically. "It's like I live in seventeenth century. You do the math."

"It's just like you're four hundred years old." his eyes shine mockingly. "You're extremely good-looking for your age."

"Well, thank you." I get up and bow slightly. "The secret is in eating late at night. It does wonders for your skin."

"Will we repeat it tomorrow?" suddenly, his face is serious. I don't know if it's for real or just pretending, but I keep my easy-going attitude.

"Sure." I've just had an idea. I walk to one of the cabinets and take two stem glasses out of it. I pour some water in both of them and give one to Jace. "There are many years to come. We must make sure you're as good-looking as I am when you're four hundred years old."

"Deal." he accepts the glass and smiles again, making me feel relieved.

"So, Jace Wayland ..." I raise my glass, pretending I'm holding a glass of champagne. "Welcome to the family of first-name-haters."


	2. Prologue - part two: Isabelle

**So, to answer your most frequent question; this story is mostly going to follow the plot of the books, so that means Clace is going to be a big part of it. But, it won't be that 100 000 000% Clace that's in the books. There will be changes in the relationships among Jamie, Jace and Clary when they "find out" Jace and Clary are brother and sister. And there will be changes again when they find out Clary and Jace are not actually brother and sister. If you want a full-time Clace story, I have nothing else to say but that you should read something else. Sorry, Clace fans.**

** There's a mention of Jamie's favourite weapon in this chapter. It's _sai_. If you've seen Daredevil or Electra, that's the weapon that Electra wields. If you haven't ... well, there's always Google :)**

"Jamie? Are you alright?" I ask the moment I enter the room.

My twin sister has been lying in her bed for two days. But, lying in the bed is so unlike Jamie that I can't help myself but to worry. She's been hurt in a battle two days ago, but this is not her first injury, nor her hardest one. Usually, she can't stay in bed for more than ten minutes while awake. But, it's already half past five in the afternoon and she still hasn't gone out of her room today.

She avoids my gaze and moves the sheets closer. Her blue eyes wander all over the bed, like she is looking for something, but they look so frightened that it looks like she has a fever. There are bags under them, her skin is pale and I notice that she bites her lips so hard that it bleeds.

"Jamie?" I ask again while coming closer to her. "Does anything hurt you? How's your wound?"

"Everything's alright." but, she immediately reaches for the big scratch on her left hip. I notice she isn't looking at me while speaking and that is a final proof, as if I needed one more, that she is lying.

"You're a terrible liar, Jamie." I smile at her, but she doesn't even notice it. In a second, my face is serious again. "You're not well. Do you want me to call Mum?"

"No!" she shouts so suddenly that it makes me jump. "No, don't call Mum."

"But, you look like you have a fever." I try to touch her forehead to check, but she moves away as soon as I reach for her. "Mum needs to know if you do."

"No." she shakes her head, but her voice is a whisper. "Don't tell her anything. Please, Izzy."

I don't understand why she opposes so much. I only mean the best for her. I always do. But, she rarely notices it.

"If you want to help me, tell Jace to come here." she mumbles. "I need to talk to him."

I frown.

Her words make me both angry and sad. She always needs to talk to _Jace_. Not to Alec or to me or to Mum. Not to her family. But to a boy she sworn to hate the first day he came. I still remember, even though it has been four years since then, the scorn in her eyes whenever somebody mentioned Jonathan Wayland. I remember how she ran away after the fight with Mum and Dad. I thought that she would run away from the Institute that night. But, the next morning, Jamie and Jonathan, whom she had named 'Jace', acted like best friends. Everything they did, they did together. We were all surprised by change in her behaviour, but nobody asked any questions. Mum and Dad got what they wanted, Jamie had accepted Jonathan, and they didn't want to accidentally ruin that. Alec and I were just too stunned to ask anything.

Since that day, Jamie and Jace have been inseparable. They've needed only each other to make everything better. And that means there is nothing I can say to comfort her. Only Jace can do that. And I don't like the thought a bit.

"Alright." I nod, now glad that Jamie isn't looking at me, because I feel tears in corners of my eyes. "I'll find him."

She doesn't answer. There is no 'Thank you, Isabelle.'. I'm not important to her. I haven't been since Jace came.

I get out of her room and walk toward the next door in the corridor. If Mum let them, Jamie and Jace would sleep in the same room. But, she insists that they have their own rooms, especially because Jace is a boy and Jamie is a girl. She had a big fight with Jamie over the rooms, but in the end Jamie had to obey. But, Mum's orders are valid only during the night. While they are awake, Jamie spends her entire free time in Jace's room. I doubt they would survive more than five minutes without each other.

I knock on the door three times, minding my manners. I can't just dash into another person's room, not even if it is my foster brother's room.

"Come in!" I hear Jace's voice. He sounds happy and relieved, so I'm guessing I'm not the one that he's expecting to see.

I take a deep breath, like I'm going to face an army of demons, and open the door. Jace's surprised expression is the only greeting I get.

"Jamie wants to talk to you." I say automatically, trying not to show how hurt I am. "She's in her room."

He nods, gets up from his bed and runs to Jamie's room. No 'Thank you, Isabelle.' here either. He hasn't seen Jamie the entire day. It's normal that he's worried about her. But, not getting any thankfulness still bothers me.

I get out of Jace's room and head for the weapons-room. It's where I love to be. I feel better there. I feel like I'm needed. The mundanes need me to defend them from demons, even if they don't know it. I must practice as much as I can, so I won't let them down.

I grab a blade and look at the target. It's only a meter or so away from me. It's a too easy shot for me after all these years of practice, but I throw the blade anyway. It's always better to start with a success.

Each time I pull the blade out of the wooden target, I make a step backwards of the spot where I stood before. I still haven't made a mistake. Every time the blade ends right where it should; right in the middle. But, not even good throws can make me smile. I still can't stop thinking about Jamie and Jace. I still can't stop being angry at them.

When Jace came to our home, I hoped that we would become what he and Jamie have become. I hoped that he would need _me_ to comfort him after everything that had happened to him. But, like everyone else, he's picked my twin sister over me. It wasn't enough for Jamie that she has already had Max's love; she's had to have Jace's too.

I throw the blade again, but this time I don't even aim the target. I'm just furious. I hear noise, like something has fallen on the floor, but I don't care. I know only that's not enough to distract me from thinking about my sister. I don't remember the last time I've felt that she was my sister. But, unfortunately, I remember how Max laughs with Jamie, how Alec practices with her, how Jace shares everything with her. Why am I not like her? Why people don't like me the way they like her? I try to do my best, I practice as much as she does, I smile at everyone as much as she does. But, that's never enough. I'm Isabelle and she's Jamie. And nobody would ever replace her by me.

Suddenly, I hear the door opening. I turn around and, to my big surprise, my eyes lay on Jace.

"I'm sorry." he says quietly. "I didn't know you were here."

I know at once that something's not right. Firstly, Jace never apologizes, unless it's Jamie whom is he talking to. He just smirks at the rest of us and comes up with some sarcastic comment. Secondly, he'd never leave Jamie so soon. They hadn't seen each other for a whole day. Thirdly, his voice is never so quiet, so insecure.

"What happened?" he asks before I can say anything, pointing at few spears that have fallen on the floor after I had hit them with my blade. Five of them are still leaned on the wall, but the three of them are lying on the floor like fallen warriors.

"It's nothing." I say, rushing to put the spears back to their place. "I knocked them down accidentally."

To my surprise, he follows me. I pick up two spears and he picks up the remaining one. After we lean them next to the other five, I look at him.

"What's going on?" I ask carefully, wondering if the impossible has happened, if Jamie and Jace have had a fight. "Why aren't you with Jamie?"

"She ... " he starts, but then swallows. It's so unlike Jace to be speechless that I feel anxiety rising in me.

"Is she sick?" I feel my voice shaking, but I can't help it. "She hasn't gone out of her room for two days. What's going on? What did she tell you?"

He doesn't answer and looks away from me. I know he's hiding something from me, something about Jamie.

"I'm her sister." I say, ready to grab his shoulders and shake the truth out of him. "I have the right to know. You have to tell me what's wrong with her. Maybe I can help her."

"She told me to tell no-one." he replies, but still avoids my gaze.

"I'm her sister." I repeat stubbornly. "Her _twin _sister. I have to know, no matter how bad it is."

For the first time since he entered the weapons-room, Jace looks me directly in the eyes.

Even after all these years, I'm still fascinated by his eyes. There are no eyes like Jace's. They are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I could fall in love with him just because of them. If he weren't my brother, of course. I think of him as of a brother, even though we don't share blood. I can't fall in love with Jace, it would be weird. Besides, I don't think Jamie would like that.

But, these eyes are judging me now, deciding whether to trust me or not. We've been living under the same roof for four years, but he still doesn't trust me. I can't tell I trust him completely either, but Jamie and even Alec do. So, that's mostly enough for me. But, not for him. Maybe not yet.

"You're right." he says after a minute or so. "You should know."

"I'm all ears." I try to act like Jamie, say something that she would say if she were here, but there's no sign of smile on his face.

"She thinks she's dying, Isabelle." his voice is quiet and completely serious.

I want to laugh. I want to wave my hand and say it's a nonsense; that Jamie is only pretending. But, I can't. Jace looks like ghost, his skin white as porcelain. He really believes that Jamie is dying. And he can't bare even the thought of the world without her.

"Why does she think that?" I manage to keep my voice calm, but I don't know how long it's going to stay that way. "I talked to Mum yesterday after she had gone to see Jamie's wound. She said it was almost completely healed."

"But, it's not healed." he replies, his eyes not leaving mine. "Jamie told me that her sheets had been covered in blood all the time. She's been hiding it from Maryse. The demon's horn must have been poisoned, because her wound isn't healing. She thinks she'll bleed to death."

I hold my breath. It can't be. Jamie can't be dying.

_I don't want her to die!_ I want to scream, but my mouth is shut. _I know that I've been angry at her and Jace, but I don't want her to die. Please, I'll do whatever it takes, just don't let Jamie die._

When I look at him again, Jace's expression reflects my own feelings. He wonders what he has done wrong, why Jamie is being taken away from him. But, I feel also guilt streaming through me. This is my fault. I wanted Jace and Max and my family for myself so badly and I'm obviously getting what I want, but the price is too high. If I hadn't been thinking about Jamie with jealousy and anger in my heart, she would have been alright. If I had protected her the day before yesterday, if I had killed that bloody demon in time, she wouldn't have got hurt.

"We have to tell Mum." I say, desperate to do anything that could save Jamie.

I'm caught completely off guard when Jace frowns at me.

"No!" he yells and he reminds me of Jamie so much that it hurts.

"Why not?" I want to understand their intentions, but it still seems like they've been talking in foreign language. "Mum will have the Silent Brothers come here and help her. Don't you want that?"

"She said it was already too late." there is so much pain in his voice and it can't be covered, not even by whispering. "She said that every part of her body hurt. She can't eat; she can't sleep because of the pain. And she's already lost so much blood. She's shown me."

"We have to try!" I can already feel the tears on my cheeks. We can't give up like that. "We have to do something!"

"And what can we do?!" suddenly, he's angry, but I know it's only the reflection of helplessness that he feels inside.

"We can tell my Mum!" I yell at him, my emotions out of control.

"We can't!" he yells, but then suddenly calms down. "She told me because she wanted to say goodbye to me. She doesn't want her family to know until it's over. She doesn't want you to suffer."

"And she wants _you_ to suffer?" I say ironically, knowing that Jamie would truly die before seeing Jace suffer.

"She said she couldn't leave without saying goodbye to me." he looks away from me again and I know he's barely keeping himself from crying. "She said that both my father and my mother hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to me. So she wouldn't leave without doing it."

For a moment, I consider hugging him. I want to show him that I'll do everything I can to comfort him. At this moment he needs me and I need him. But, I know he wouldn't want me to do that, not while Jamie still lives. She's still here with us. We have to be strong for her.

I hear a noise behind my back. I turn around and see Mum walking into the room.

"What are you two doing here?" her voice is cheerful, like nothing bothers her. "And where is Jacqueline? Don't tell me that little sluggard still hasn't come out of her bed."

Neither Jace nor I have enough strength to answer. We can't tell her. Jamie doesn't want it. Besides, I don't want to see the smile on Mum's face replaced by sadness.

But, Mum noticed right away something is wrong. Her eyes glance at Jace for a moment and then fix on me.

"Isabelle, where's your sister?" her expression is so strict and serious that I feel like I'm seven, not thirteen.

"In her room." I reply without thinking, but I realize my mistake the moment Mum turns around to leave the weapons-room. "Wait! You can't go to her!"

Mum looks at me again, her eyebrows raised.

"Why not?" she asks.

"You can't." Jace joins me and I feel a bit relieved to have someone to support me. "She told me she was tired. She's gone to sleep."

"Don't be ridiculous." Mum frowns. "It's not even six o'clock yet. And she's spent last two days in her room. She has nothing to be tired of."

No believable excuse crosses my mind. But, if I don't stop Mum, she'll go to Jamie. And she'll be sad. I know she'll be sad eventually, but I have to do everything in my power to delay that sadness.

"You can't go to her." I repeat firmly, although I know this battle has already been lost.

Mum's eyes wander between me and Jace.

"What did she do?" she smiles like she has caught us doing some mischief. "You wouldn't have been so eager to stop me to go to her room if she had been behaving."

"No, we ... " I start, but I'm interrupted by Jace.

"Yes." he nods. "We ... we had a fight with pillows. And we may have accidentally ... broken few things."

Mum shakes her head, but I can see she's not annoyed. This has obviously been a good day for her.

"Well, then it's the best that I go check on the damage." she says and before we can do or say anything, she's already gone.

We have failed Jamie. I can't even imagine how I will comfort Mum once she finds out the truth. No word that crosses my mind seems enough. By the Angel, what I'm going to tell Max?

Suddenly, there's a noise behind my back. I turn around. Jace is punching one of the boxing bags. I can see only his back, but I don't need to see his face to know that he is sad and angry. We are helpless. We can't save Jamie.

I walk to the other side of the bag, so I can look at his face. There are no tears in his eyes. Jace never cries. But, there is pain in his features. A pain so great like the part of him is dying.

"I ... I ... " but, I don't know what to say. My mind is failing me completely.

"There's nothing you can say." his voice is as cold as ice. "Don't try to make me feel better. You can't comfort me nothing more than I can comfort you."

His words hurt me. I bit my lip, not letting myself to cry in front of Jace. He tries so hard to pretend calm and strong. He's everything that a true Shadowhunter should be. I must be like him now. I must keep the mask of strength on my face.

Jamie's situation makes me realize for the first time in my life that death is an everyday part of our lives. She's only the first one I'm going to lose. Our duty is to protect this world with our lives. And we do that every day. Jamie was doing that when she was wounded. We've been practicing so much, learning how to protect ourselves, and it still hasn't been enough for her. All of her knowledge and talent hasn't protected her. How can I keep on fighting when I know I could be the one to die tomorrow? I managed to hide my fears from my family until now, but I'm not sure I can do that anymore.

"It's not fair." I say out loud, barely aware that Jace is still there. "It's not fair that we can die so easily despite all the hard work."

The punching stops and the lack of noise rouses me out of the lethargy I fell into. I raise my head and face Jace's gold eyes again.

"It's what we are, Isabelle." he says matter-of-factly. "We're not like mundanes. We face death every day. Sometimes we just run out of luck."

"But, Jamie knew how to fight!" I hiss, but then realize what I've said. I've put Jamie in past tense. "I mean, she knows how to fight. It hasn't been luck that's been saving her all these years."

"I know it hasn't." he replies quietly. I'm not sure, but I think I hear a note of pride in his voice. He's proud of Jamie. But, then that note is lost, leaving sadness in its place. "She's a great fighter. But, sometimes that isn't enough."

His tone makes me remember his life before he came to us. Jamie isn't going to be the first one he loses. He saw his father being murdered. He knows how the loss feels. And he hates it.

"I'm sorry about your Dad." I feel ashamed of myself because I never found time to tell him that in these four years we've been living together. "I guess I'll soon be able to tell that I know how it feels to lose someone you love."

He doesn't look away, but I don't have a feeling that he sees me either. He looks at me, but his face is so absent that I know he sees someone else in his mind.

"My father told me once that to love was to destroy and that to be loved was to be destroyed." he mumbles, but I understand what he is saying. "I didn't understand what he had meant until the day he died. I thought I had learned my lesson then. But, when I think of losing Jamie now, I feel the same. I feel destroyed."

"But, love is supposed to make you feel better, not to destroy you." I say, but half-heartedly. I know I sound like a seven-year-old girl, dreaming of her Prince Charming.

Words of Jace's father are echoing in my mind and I can't think of a good argument to defy them. If I didn't love Jamie, would the thought of her death hurt me so much? People die every day and I don't even think about them. But, when it is someone I love that is dying, it destroys me. Is it possible that Jace's father was right? Is it possible that love makes you weak?

"My father said it made you weak." Jace's words reflect my thoughts. "It distracts you. It makes you a poorer warrior. And I believe he told me the truth."

"Why?" I wonder.

"If I was a good warrior," he takes one of the blades off the nearest shelf and turns around toward the target. "I would throw this blade right in the middle of the target. I wouldn't let thoughts of Jamie distract me."

He raises his left hand, aims and throws the blade. It ends up few centimetres away from the centre of the target.

"But, I'm not." he shrugs, but doesn't look at me. "Because I care for others."

"That's not a bad thing." I say determinedly. "Jamie is lucky to have you to care for her."

That makes him look at me. There is something in his expression that I haven't expected to be there, even though I can't put my finger on it.

"I don't care just for her." I finally realize what it is; it is care, but it's not meant for Jamie. "I care for your entire family. I care for you too, Isabelle."

"'Izzy'." I smile, not even knowing why I'm saying that. I don't like being called 'Izzy'. It's the stupid nickname Jamie gave me. But, now I don't find it stupid. It's beyond any rational explanation. "Call me 'Izzy'."

He raises an eyebrow.

"Jamie told me you didn't like the nickname."

"But, she gave it to me." I shrug. "I think it's the way she shows that she cares. She gives nicknames to people."

"She told me she gave us nicknames because our full names sounded like old people's." Jace's features relax a bit. It looks like he's smiling without a smile. "But, I think you're right. She does that for people that she cares for."

"That's my sister." I manage to actually smile. "The weirdest person and the best fighter I know."

"I couldn't choose better words to describe Jamie myself." he still doesn't smile, but his eyes shine in a different way than before. "She's a brilliant fighter. But, all of you Lightwoods are. I guess it runs in your family."

His words make me blush. People usually don't praise _my_ fighting skills. I rely mostly on the element of surprise. I am patient; I can wait as long as necessary for the perfect moment. And then I attack with my whip. In a second, the demon is history. Alec also prefers attacks that the opposition doesn't expect, even though his weapon of choice is bow and arrows. We will avoid open battle if possible, choosing to lure the enemy into our trap instead. I don't think we are poor fighters, but we're nothing compare to Jamie or Jace in hand-to-hand fight. Unlike Alec and me, they love it with all of their hearts. They love the adrenaline streaming through their veins; they love the jumps, the ducking, the running, the stabbing. Jace's favourite weapons are his blades while Jamie prefers her two _sai_. But, you can't miss the same brilliance in both gold and blue eyes when they fight; you know that shadowhunting is something that they will never give up. And they can discuss their best moves for days, always planning the new ones for the next fight.

"I've never seen anyone wielding a whip like you do." he continues when I don't answer. "It's really impressive."

"Thanks." I manage to mumble, but then force myself to pull myself together. "You're brilliant with the blades. Not even Jamie can throw them as well as you do."

"I've had a lot of practice." he says, but the look of smile-less smiling is gone. Now he just looks hurt. I guess my words have reminded him of his father again. And of Jamie.

_Damn it, Isabelle, you just have to spoil everything every time._ I curse myself. I try to think of something to say, something that will make him feel better, but I'm speechless again.

Suddenly, I hear steps in the corridor. Neither Jace nor I move, we just stare at the open door. After a few seconds, we face the newcomer. Or better said, the old-comer. It's Mum.

"Jacqueline has no idea what you've been talking about." she addresses Jace. She still refuses to use the nickname when she talks about Jamie. "She doesn't know anything about a fight with pillows. Why have you said that?"

Jace is trapped and he knows it. He'll have to be completely honest now. He'll have to betray Jamie's trust. I know he's already done it when he told me the truth, but this is different. There are some things that you can share with your friends or your siblings, but you can't share it with your parents. Especially if they are your adopted parents.

I must help him. I've forced him to tell me the truth. I've made him break his promise. Now I'll help him to keep it.

"How is she?" I ask loudly, distracting both Mum and Jace. "She told me she wasn't feeling well. That her wound hadn't been healing as it should and that it still bled."

Mum stared at me in confusion for few moments and then she laughed.

"She's absolutely fine." she looks at me with an amused smile on her lips. "Her wound is healed. As for the blood, she's got her period, that's all."

It finally dawns on me and I laugh out loud at how stupid I've been. I haven't even thought of that as of an explanation of Jamie's symptoms. I got my first period only four months ago, so I still haven't got quite used to it. But, I should have thought of that before I started to arrange Jamie's funeral along with Jace. He didn't have to get sad. If only I had remembered it, it would all have been easier.

I glance at Jace, wanting to apologize for my mistake. But, his eyes are wandering from me to Mum, and they look frightened.

"How long does she have?" he mumbles, his eyes fixing on Mum.

She doesn't understand for a moment what he's talking about. I touch his shoulder gently and I'm glad to see he doesn't rouse.

"She's not dying." I say, feeling half-sorry for him and half-amused by his ignorance. On the other hand, he's just a fourteen-year-old boy, what could he know of this matter? "'Period' is just a name for some girl-problems."

"Girl-problems?" he raises his eyebrows, obviously having no idea what I'm talking about. No wonder, knowing that he's grown up without a mother or a sister.

Mum finally realizes the reason for Jace's anxiety and confusion. She laughs, drawing Jace's attention again.

"You don't need to worry about her." she comes closer to us, looking at Jace. "The blood has nothing to do with her wound. It's something every girl gets when she comes of a certain age. Jacqueline's fine. She was concerned about it, but I explained everything to her. It's not dangerous."

Jace lets a sigh out. I know he still doesn't understand what the 'girl-problems' are, but I doubt he even wants to know. They are, after all, _girl_-problems. But, I can see he's relieved. Mum's words have convinced him that Jamie was alright. He won't lose her. And that's all he wanted to hear.

"Can I go to see her now?" he asks and he can barely hold his excitement back.

"Of course." Mum smiles. "She's already asked for you."

A huge smile appears on his face and in a second he's already on the door. But, just before he is about to be gone out of our sight, he turns around and looks at me.

"I'm sorry I've made you worry, Izzy." he smiles at me apologetically.

I'm so glad to hear his words, even the nickname. I will never, ever, hate hearing it again. My sister has given it to me because she loves me. And my adopted brother feels closer to me when I share his fate of having a nickname. It doesn't sound that bad either. 'Isabelle' is still prettier, but I can live with 'Izzy'.

"Don't worry." I smile back at him. "I'm glad we talked."

He nods.

"Thank you." he says and then he's off to Jamie's room.

"So ... " Mum interrupts the silence after few seconds, her voice amused. "Jacqueline told him that she was dying, huh? That was a bit dramatic for her."

"I guess she's got scared because of the wound." I want to protect my sister from Mum's jokes, even though I'd rather laugh with her. "But, it really was little too dramatic."

Mum chuckles.

"Just wait until she realizes she'll have to live with her periods until she's fifty."

**So, I hope you liked the second part of the prologue. It's an attempt of showing how Jace and Isabelle got close. I've read that in the TMI they talked about weapons, so I tried to mention it here too. I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistake made in this two parts, I hope they didn't bother you too much.**


	3. Prologue - part three: Jace

**The last part of the prologue is here, in the words of one and only Jace Wayland/Morgenstern/Lightwood/Herondale. ( my favourite is Lightwood, it just sounds the best and in the end, it's what he is in his heart :) ). It's the longest one ( because we all know Jace always has something witty to say and we love him for it :) ). It's not easy to write his thoughts, so if you feel something is completely out of character for him ( except for the part mentioned in other author's notes, that's explained ), please tell me.**

**Patch 3, your review came as a really nice surprise after a tough day for me, so thank you :). I hope too that there will be more reviews, but since I'm sometimes too lazy to write a review to other stories myself, I mustn't complain. I'm just glad people are reading this.**

**So, if anything in this chapter pisses off you enormously ( and I can guess what that could be ) please read the author's note at the end. If you find it satisfying enough, you can go back to reading. If not ... well, you've been warned before.**

"Why do we have to go to Pandemonium again?" Jamie frowns as we walk with Alec and Isabelle toward the club she hates. "It smells awfully, it's too noisy and whenever I throw any of my _sai_, it always ends up in the wrong person."

I glance at her. She already holds one of her _sai_ in her right hand, although we have to walk for ten more minutes at least before we get to the club. The other one still rests in her gear, but I doubt she'll manage to leave it there until we arrive. Even despite her complaints, I can see the brilliance of excitement in her blue eyes. She can't wait for the fight to start, even if she won't have home-field advantage.

"Because the demon scrum loves to spend their time there." I reply with a huge grin on my face. "They know you're a total party-breaker, Jamie."

Her gaze fixes on me. She doesn't like to be teased. That's what it makes it so much fun.

"I'm not a party-breaker." she smiles cunningly at me. "I just send demons to party elsewhere. They can do everything they want in their own dimensions. But I make the rules in mine."

I raise an eyebrow.

"So, now we change the name from 'planet Earth' to 'Jamie's dimension'?"

"I'd move away to another dimension at once." Isabelle joins the conversation before Jamie can answer. "I wouldn't want to risk dying of boredom."

"Just because I don't date ten boys in six months doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun." Jamie snaps at once at her twin.

She's been sensitive about the subject since Isabelle started dating. If I didn't know the truth, I'd never say Izzy and Jamie are sisters. They don't even look alike. The only common features they have are height and hair colour. And their characters couldn't differ more.

Isabelle doesn't answer for few moments. I know Jamie has been close to calling her sister a whore and it hurts her. I know Jamie doesn't mean it, but Isabelle pushed her to say it. She often makes fun of Jamie's unsociable character. And Jamie doesn't know better than to strike back at once. She loves to have the last word and she'll do anything to have it.

"Dating boys is fun." Isabelle replies when we have all thought she wouldn't answer. "You'd know if you ever dated one. But, I guess you couldn't even make a vampire like you."

Alright, there is one similarity between Jamie's and Isabelle's characters. They both love to have the last word.

"Why would I want a vampire to like me?" Jamie laughs, but I can hear she doesn't find Isabelle's words quite as funny as she wants us to think. "Besides, they like anything that has a pulse. It's not so hard to make a vampire like you. And demons are even easier."

Isabelle smiles cunningly, like those words were just the opportunity she's been waiting for.

"If it's so easy to do it, Jamie," she says. "You lure the demon tonight."

Jamie opens her mouth as if to protest, but remembers that would prove Isabelle is right.

Her expression gives away the battle that is happening within her. She desperately wants to win the battle against her sister, but doesn't want to do what is asked of her. She doesn't want to play the seduction game with a demon. She wouldn't want to play that game with anyone, and the fact that it is a demon just makes everything worse for her.

What Isabelle said is true; Jamie has never dated anyone. But, she thinks that the reason for that is simply Jamie's unsociable character. Alec thinks so too. Everyone thinks so but me. I know why Jamie stays away from boys. I'm the only one who knows; she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone but me.

When she was around fourteen years old, Jamie went to buy some medicine for Max, who had a fever. She insisted that she went alone; she said that she couldn't expect someone to hold her hand as if she was a child whenever she left the Institute. She left without putting any glamour, visible to the mundanes too. But, when she came back, she wasn't her usual loud fun self. She smiled and kissed Max's cheeks, wishing him fast recovery, but by that time I knew her so well that I noticed immediately something was wrong. The first moment we were left alone, I made her tell me the whole story.

_It was a mundane._ I could still hear her sobbing as if it happened yesterday. _An old and ugly one. He ... he grabbed me and tried ... I've got bruises trying to make him let me go but he held me tight ... I managed to hit him and run away ... But seriously, Jace, I've never been so afraid in my life ... He almost ... I hate him. I hate all men but you, Max, Alec, Dad and Hodge__.__ I'll always hate them, I swear._

She made me promise not to tell anyone and never to try to find the man.

_I just want to forget._ she whispered, her blue eyes captivating mine and not letting go until I promise. _I told you because you are my best friend, the only one whom I fully trust. If you say, I'll never trust you again. And that'd destroy me, Jace. Don't do that to me._

Her secret has been safe with me ever since. The man had hurt her, but losing me would hurt her even more. And I'd rather die than do anything that would hurt Jamie.

She's my best friend; she knows all my secrets, even the darkest ones. It took some time for me to start trusting her, but once I did, I knew I could tell her anything. And so I did. She is the first and only person I don't have, don't _want_, to hide anything from. By now she knows me so well that I don't think I could hide anything from her. I care for Alec, Isabelle and Max too, but neither of them can compare to Jamie. There are things that you can't say to your siblings, but you can tell your best friend. That's the difference between the three of them and Jamie. Sometimes I feel like she's the other part of my soul, the one I lost and then found again. That's why I plan to ask her to become my _parabatai_ tonight, after we get back to the Institute. Before that, we'll fight side by side, synchronized as if we could read each other's minds, kill the demon and then enjoy our victory. We'll laugh and praise each other. We'll retell the fight and our every move. We always do that. And I can never have enough of it.

But, I'm still not completely sure that she'll accept me as her _parabatai_. I mean, we have been best friends for years and I'd do anything for her, as she'd do anything for me, but what if it's not enough? What if she doesn't want a _parabatai_? What if she doesn't want _me_ as her _parabatai_? Maybe she finally wants to meet new people, to move away from her family. As her best friend, I should support her; I shouldn't make her choose between her own wishes and mine.

_I'll tell her she doesn't have to accept it._ I promise myself. _I won't make her do anything she doesn't want. I won't be mad at her if she refuses. We're friends, I'll understand her reasons._

My eyes are fixed on her, though for entirely different reason than Alec's and Isabelle's. They wait to see how she'll react to the Isabelle's challenge. I already know how it's going to end; Jamie is too proud to let Isabelle tease her for the lack of bravery. She'll do her best to lure the demon into our trap, even if she'll be disgusted by it. She'll be the hunter, not the victim and she'll be able to fight her fear in that situation. She doesn't let anyone to question her bravery or her abilities. As far as Jamie is concerned, everything is possible.

But, for the first time I'm afraid that my best friend will end up alone forever if she doesn't open up to people. There are people who could love her just like I love her. She's fun and smart and a great fighter and charming; the latter only when she wants to be. But, she has refused everyone who had asked her out. There were few boys of our age who came to visit the Institute in the past year. Some even found Jamie more attractive than Isabelle; I heard them talking about it. They admired her firmness and bravery, her readiness for the fight even when it was unnecessary and reckless. But, Jamie was always as cold as ice, avoiding staying alone with them.

But, there is no ice in her eyes now. There's only fire, fire too hot even for demons to survive it.

"I'll do it." her voice is firm. "Just watch me."

"Deal." Isabelle grins. "I can't wait to see how you'll sweep the demon of its feet."

Nobody says a word after that.

* * *

The moment we enter Pandemonium, I head for the bar. I don't plan to order anything, it's my place which I watch the club from. Alec is soon out of my sight, lost among the crowd, but I know he's heading for the farthest wall. He's going to lean on it and pretend indifferent, scanning the room. Jamie should be standing next to me, leaned lazily on the bar behind our backs, making jokes and chuckling with me, and follow Isabelle's path as she gets closer to our target.

But, the roles are switched today. It is Isabelle who stands next to me and swings in the rhythm of music. Her short black dress, perfect for attracting attention of any mundane ( if they could see us ), Shadowhunter, Downworlder or demon, follows the movements of her body. As her moves uncover the skin of her thighs, I swallow. I shouldn't be looking at her that way. She's not one of the girls I don't know and don't care for, she's my sister. But I must admit she's handsome. She knows she is beautiful and she knows how to use her beauty.

My eyes leave her and fix on the girl who possesses another type of beauty, but I'm not entirely sure that she knows it. Jamie moves slowly, trying her best not to push people out of her way. It's what she usually does, she can't stand obstacles. If there is a wall she can't jump over or bypass, she doesn't turn her back on it; she makes her way through it. There's no way that girl would come back defeated. Her back are turned toward us, so I can't see her face, but I know she tries her absolutely best not to bite her lower lip in annoyance. She's probably cursing Isabelle under her breath too. I grin, both because of amusement and pride that I know my best friend so well.

"Do you enjoy yourself?" Isabelle yells in my ear because the current song is almost worse than shrieking of the demons. "My little sister's attempts of seducing anyone will turn out to be a complete disaster, I can tell."

"Your little sister only by a minute." I say automatically, it's the words Jamie always shouts when Isabelle mentions who is older of the two of them.

"By the Angel, Jace, don't do this to me." she shakes her head and long locks of her black hair start dancing. "I couldn't stand another Jamie. Don't turn into her."

"You should have some faith in her, Izzy." I glance at her, leaving Jamie to Alec's watch for a moment. "Just because she doesn't act like you, it doesn't mean she can't be as charming as you are."

"Do you always have to defend her?" she smirks at me. "You know as well as I do that dating isn't really her field. Not like yours and mine."

There is a new song on, luckily much quieter than the last one, so I can answer normally.

"I've never said I didn't enjoy spending my time with handsome girls." I chuckle. "And you obviously enjoy being around boys. I just say some people are not like us. You have two of the type in your family. Max is still too young to tell, but if we don't do something about it, he'll be lost too."

"He's only eight, I think we have enough time." she smiles, but then her eyes fix on something behind my back. And the smile turns into a grin. "This is going to be show of the century."

I turn around and scan the crowd, trying to locate Jamie. When I find her, I realize what Isabelle finds so funny.

It's not a demon that Jamie has found, because the scrum would have already been dead. Some Downworlder, I'd say a werewolf, grabbed her waist and brought her closer to himself. I can tell he's drunk since his moves are unsynchronized and the glass in his left hand is empty. But, his right hand is holding her tight in attempt of slow-dance. At the first moment, Jamie is too stunned and surprised to react. She just stands still like a rock while the guy swings next to her, trying to make her join him.

In that second, all I want to do is to make my way through the crowd and break the arm around Jamie's waist. He shouldn't be touching her like that. He shouldn't make her dance with him. I know she doesn't want it.

_But, what if she does?_ some traitorous part of my mind wonders, but I silence it immediately._ She doesn't. I know her, I know what she thinks. I know she doesn't want it. And I'll save her from him. I won't let him touch her ever again. She's my best friend. I have to protect her._

I make a step forward, forgetting all about Jamie's deal with Isabelle and the demon and the hunt, my mind focused only on the pair. I don't take my eyes of them, in the case the guy tries something. He can't touch my Jamie like that. But, then I feel a hand grabbing my forearm.

"Wait!" Izzy giggles behind me. "I want to see how she'll deal with this."

_But, I don't._ I want to reply, but that would demand that I turn around. And I can't leave Jamie unprotected. _She doesn't want to be touched like that. I don't want boys to touch her like that._

But, at that moment, a strange picture appears in my head.

We're still at Pandemonium, the same song, the same people, but I am in the werewolf's place. I'm dancing with Jamie, my hands rest on her waist, my body is so close to hers that we can barely breathe without our chest touching. She's not stunned or surprised, she's smiling at me. I can smell the scent of her skin, I can see every line of her face. I can see her eyes shining in happiness because she's there with me. We're not hunting, we're just enjoying ourselves. She is smiling even here in Pandemonium, in the place she doesn't like, because she's with me. She loves being with me. And I love being with her. If I only lean a bit closer, my lips will touch hers. She wants me to do it. And I want to do it.

"O, crap." Isabelle's voice brings me back to reality. "He's _so_ dead."

It's the werewolf with Jamie again. I can see her holding her breath while he caresses her right cheek. Her eyes are wide open, her lips slightly parted.

_Jamie ..._ I don't have time to open my mouth. I don't have enough time to reach her, to stop her.

The music still plays, but half of the crowd doesn't dance anymore. They stare at Jamie with their mouths open, like she has done something scandalous. Maybe she has, but I don't think she has done it on purpose. It's been an instinctive reaction.

I can't see the werewolf anymore, but I know where he is. He's lying on the floor, his nose most likely broken. In addition to his drunken state, he's probably unconscious.

Jamie's eyes lie on him for few more moments, but then she snaps out of it and glances at the Sensor in her hand. The werewolf is forgotten immediately. Her eyes find mine. 'The hunt goes on.' they tell me.

She turns around, but people don't let her pass. Some are concerned, some want to tease her, some want to have their chance with her, but she ignores them all. She's quite tall, so she looks above others' heads when she can't make her way through them. I notice her body tenses and I know she's found the demon. I try to realize who it is, following the way her head moves. And I can see what she's looking at.

There is one guy with short red hair going the opposite direction of everyone else. Curious mundanes or Downworlders are looking for a gossip-subject, but the demons are running away. They know what we have come for. Although mundanes would replace it for an ordinary Irish man, we know what it really is. It is our target.

Jamie has had enough of being polite. She pushes three guys and a girl out of her way at once. The rest of the crowd have noticed her bad mood and backed off. I follow her lead, Isabelle on my heels. Alec comes from the other side, but the demon is the closest to the exit. And Jamie is the closest to it.

_Wait for me!_ I want to yell, but I know she wouldn't hear me, so I let the yells stay inside my mind. _We have to do it together, like we always do. This night should be special for us._

I push people, not caring for politeness. Half of them are mundanes, they don't see me anyway. And this is a club after all. Your night here is not complete if someone doesn't step on your feet or pushes you at least once.

Finally, I manage to reach Jamie. I grab her forearm without thinking and it almost costs me. In a second, her _sai_ is under my neck, pressing my skin so hard that I can feel my pulse pounding against the cold metal.

"Damn it, Jace!" she spats furiously and removes her _sai_, although the fire still burns in her eyes. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Tough night, huh?" even though I've almost had my throat cut by my best friend, I grin. I have to calm her down. "That one won't regain conscience until day after tomorrow."

"I didn't mean to." she shrugs apologetically. "I hadn't expected him to do it and I just ... freaked out."

I open my mouth to make a remark about the consequences of her freaking out, but Isabelle interrupts me.

"Jamie, the plan was to lure the demon, not to scare it away." her voice is ironical, so I know she's quite enjoying her victory. "I officially forbid you to try this ever again."

"Thank the Angel." I hear Jamie mumble after Isabelle bypassed us, continuing the chase as the head of our group. "This one time has already been too much."

I pat her shoulder slightly, but I still find her situation funny.

"You were doing pretty well, you know." I chuckle. "Until the dance started."

"Shut up." she hisses. "I have to kill something now in order to recover. If you mention this again, it'll be you."

"What, you'll dance with me?" I ask her while we continue to move in the direction the demon and Isabelle went. "Your last dance ended up quite badly for your partner."

I don't know whether she hasn't heard my words or just chosen to ignore them, but she doesn't turn around to threaten me again. She leads the way in silence, leaving me to follow.

But, with Jamie leaving me to my own thoughts, I can't help myself but to remember how I felt when I saw her with the werewolf. I remember how I wanted to kick his ass for touching her. I've never been so protective of her before. So, why did I feel like I had to interrupt them before something happened between them? It could have been because I knew her secret. But if that was the case, why did I imagine myself being in the werewolf's place? Why did I imagine myself kissing her?

_No, no, no way._ I tell myself, fighting the urge to rebuke myself out loud. _I need to stay focused. She's my best friend. I'm not in love with her. I'm not in love with her._

Following the demon leads us out of the club. After I've sweated in the club, the cold breeze makes me feel goose bumps on my skin. But, I have no time for worrying about my own comfort. The demon is already running, trying to get away from us. Isabelle runs after him, her high heels making her steps echoing through the street. I truly admire her ability to run so fast while wearing them. But, Jamie is already catching up with her, her steps as silent as cat's. I run after them, hearing another pair of steps behind my back. Alec.

The demon suddenly turns left, but it turns out to be a bad choice. When I join Isabelle and Jamie, I see it stand in the dead end. It has nowhere to go and there are four of us. It can hardly be easier.

"So, my little friend who has a thing for Irish men," I make a step closer to it, knowing it can't get away. "What were you doing in that club? It can hardly be a matter of cultural education."

It hisses at me, but I couldn't care less. I've seen too much in my life to be scared of a demon which imitates cats. It'd be a completely different case if it was imitating ducks. But, I won't be the one to give him advices.

"Is there more of your kind in the club?" Alec has never been the one for chatting. He finds insulting the demons unnecessary and distracting. We're going to kill them anyway, there's no point in insulting someone who'll be dead in the matter of minutes, he always says. He just wants to get the job done.

"Maybe it just wanted to dance." I hear the voice of a girl who disagrees with Alec on this matter. Jamie absolutely agrees with me. When you're outnumbering the enemy four to one, having a bit of fun can't hurt. "You can have that dance with me. My sister thinks I'm a horrible dancer, but I disagree. I think I'm a _lethal_ dancer. Shall we dance, hell's scrum?"

"You'll all dance in fire." the demon finally mumbles something comprehensible. "I'll find you then to dance with me, little Shadowhunter."

In a second, one of Jamie's _sai_ rests on demon's cheek. Its skin burns under its touch, releasing the smell of sulphur.

"Think twice before you call me 'little' again, demon." she spats.

"Jamie, enough." Alec warns her. "Kill it so we can go home."

But, it's not Jamie that answers. It's the demon.

"You're not going home, little Shadowhunters." it grins and its teeth flash under the street lights. "Only to your graves."

I turn around and the sight there makes me hold my breath. Ten demons at least are standing there, flames burning in their eyes. They're smirking at us like we have been smirking at the red-headed demon, knowing that they are outnumbering us.

I take two seraph blades out of my gear and whisper their names; Ariel and Seraphiel. Next to me, Alec's bow and arrow are already at the ready. Isabelle's whip lies in her hand, ready to strike.

I glance at Jamie. She still holds one of her _sai_ pressed on the demon's cheek. The other one is in her other hand. She looks at me and grins.

"Whoever kills less of them pays the dinner at Taki's?"

I grin back at her.

"Deal."

Her _sai_ pierces the demon's right eye at once. The bloody bastard doesn't even have time to shriek. But, when it vanishes into the air, the other demons do the shrieking for their fallen ally. I've never understood why the demons loved to shriek and scream. You just waste your energy and concentration. And it sounds awfully. So, it's my obligation to set the world free of that noise.

Two demons throw themselves at me, using their horns as a poor copy of my blades. But, they've left so many weak spots for me to use them. I should respect their death wishes.

I duck under one of the demons and stab him in the abdomen. His companion attacks my left side, maybe thinking it is my weaker side. I love being left-handed. Jamie envies me on that. No matter how much she practices, it's obvious her right hand is much stronger and more precise than her left. There's much less left-handed Shadowhunters, so the demons have learned it is the weaker side for the most. Too bad for them I'm not one of the most.

I throw the blade and it pierces the demon's heart or whatever they have to keep their blood streaming through their veins. It sounds offensive for the mankind to say that demons have a heart, even only as an organ. But, this one now has nothing anyway, since my blade has sent it back to whatever bloody dimension it came from.

I move to the next demon, an ugly creature two times my size that kills its enemies by crashing them with its enormous fists. When it lays its yellowish eyes on me, I smirk at him. It pisses him off at once, like I knew it would, so he starts to try to flatten me like an annoying bug. But, his size makes him slow. I easily avoid his every attempt of making jelly of my head. Every miss makes him angrier and makes me more amused.

"C'mon, is that all you've got?" I yell at him when the fist misses for the sixth or seventh time. I just couldn't hold myself back. "You aim so poorly you could miss the Empire State Building."

Surprisingly, the demon shows its teeth in attempt of, my guess, smirking. All of them are yellow and half of them are broken, so it's not a pretty sight, but I don't miss the victorious brilliance in yellow eyes.

I glance across my shoulder and realize why the demon is barely holding itself back from jumping in happiness. The end of the blind alley is a meter behind my back. He lured me into a trap and I didn't even notice it, so sure of my superiority. And now my manoeuvring space is extremely reduced.

"So, the waltz it is." I mumble under my breath, taking another blade out of my gear to replace the one I've lost. "Let's dance."

I manage to avoid one more hit, but the one after that knocks me over. I feel my body flying through the air and then it gets roughly stopped by the wall. The blow knocks the blade out of my right hand. The gravity decides not to make an exception in my case and does its work, so then I fall on the ground. My sight is blurred, by the pain I feel I can tell I've got a few ribs broken and maybe a twisted ankle. I hear the demon shrieking again in victory and for few moments the pain is replaced by the desire for vengeance.

_You've not won yet, asshole._ I decide not to waste my breath on saying it out loud. _And it's time to stop your bloody shrieking._

I get up as fast as I can. I still have one blade in my hand. It will have to be enough.

But, when I make a step toward the demon, my ankle betrays me. The moment I lean on it with my full weight, I lose balance and fall again. Like the fact that my body refuses to obey me isn't bad enough, my movements have drawn demon's attention back to me. It didn't realize until now that I wasn't dead. And it's determined not to make the same mistake again.

I want to yell, to call someone for help, but the words are stuck in my throat. What would my father think if he were here? He would be ashamed of me. He raised me to be a warrior, the best there is. And I would betray him by calling for help. A true warrior doesn't scream, doesn't lose. He beats his enemies with his own abilities. If he can't do that, then the death is what he should expect. And I expect it, looking the demon directly in his eyes. A true warrior must never show fear. I've betrayed my father in almost every possible way. I will not meet him again without doing at least something that will make him proud.

The fist casts its shadow on my face. I take a deep breath, knowing I'm soon to become a pancake, but I don't look away. _I must not look away._

But, the fists never lands on my head. It misses me for a few centimetres. Suddenly the demon collapses, his head pierced with an arrow. I see Alec looking at me, checking if I am alright. I nod slightly and he nods in return and then goes back to fighting. The demon is still alive, it's still moving next to me, but I don't plan to offer him a chance for a comeback. I start to crawl toward its head, ashamed, but determined. I hate to be weak, not being able to stand on my two feet, but I'll do what I should have done ages ago.

Before it can grab me, I pull the blade through demon's brain. Black blood sprinkles my face and hands, but I don't care, because a moment after, the demon is gone.

I raise my head and look for my friends, my family. Alec and Isabelle fight another one of these giants, trying to knock him over like Alec knocked mine. But, their one obviously saw what happened to this one, so it pays more attention to Alec than to Isabelle. And her whip can't do much against it, it's just too big.

My eyes then look for Jamie. She's surrounded by the last two demons left, but at least they are human size. It doesn't make them any less dangerous, of course. But, Jamie loves challenges.

I watch her as her _sai_ meet the claws of one demon. They intertwine and she turns around, using the demon's weight to knock the other one down. She sets one of the _sai_ free from the claws, leaving the other to keep the claws busy, and stabs the demon with it. The demon vanishes, setting the other _sai_ free, so she runs toward the last demon. It just got up on its feet, but Jamie is too fast for it. Before it can do as much as raise his claws to defend itself, she runs the end of her _sai_ into its skull, between its eyes.

She turns around as the demon is vanishing behind her back. Her eyes find me.

Shame fills my entire body. My father is dead, I don't have to stand in front of him now, admitting my weakness. But, I have to stand in front of Jamie. Facing her disappointment is far worse even than facing father's disappointment or the death itself. Why she would accept me as a _parabatai_? I was almost killed today because I underestimated the demon. A true warrior doesn't show fear, but shows respect. I was a total opposite today. Jamie is a true warrior, a copy of my father's words. If he were here, he'd tell me I could learn so much from her. We've been best friends for years, why haven't I?

Jamie glances at Alec and Isabelle, checking if they need their help, but they managed to kill the giant. They exchange gazes and nods, assuring one another they are fine.

For a moment, I'm jealous. The Lightwood siblings are a true family, the one I'd love to have. They can tease and mock each other endlessly, but they are always there for each other when it's important. They love each other and they would be devastated if anything bad happened to either of them. It's so different from the words my father told me, that to love is to destroy. When I look at them, I don't see weak or destroyed people. I see people who care for one another, who would go to the end of the world for one another. I see people whose togetherness makes them strong. And I desperately want to be the part of that togetherness.

As one, all the three of them look at me and run toward me. Jamie is, as usually, the fastest. Her eyes are scanning me, checking my injuries. I smile weakly at her.

"It's no big deal." I try to sound confident, but my broken ribs prevent me.

"Let me draw the _iratzes_." she says while taking her stele out of her gear. When I try to wave my hand nonchalantly and repeat my previous words, she rolls her eyes. "You can only say where to put the _iratzes_. I don't want to hear the rest."

Her voice is serious, but the brilliance in her eyes is telling me she's not angry. She's glad I'm alright. Of course, by that she means 'not dead'.

"The ribs." I say quietly. "And the ankle."

These injuries seem like a cheap price. I'm truly lucky to be alive. Without Alec I wouldn't be.

"Thanks." I look at him while Jamie draws the runes.

He raises his eyebrows.

"You've saved me." I explain.

"You've done the same for me thousands of times." he shrugs. "It's nothing."

"It's _something_." I insist. I know I sound stupid by the flashes in the two pair of blue eyes and one pair of brown ones, but I don't care. "If there hadn't been for you' I'd have been dead. I owe you my life."

"Speaking of owing," Jamie interferes before Alec can reply. She's drawn the runes, but the pointy end of her stele still points at me. "_You_ owe _me_ a dinner at Taki's. But, I'll let Izzy and Alec to come with us to celebrate this victory. So, you're actually paying both my and their dinners too."

"The deal was between you and me." I frown, but it's just for the show. "You can't invite other people to dinner at my expense."

"Yes, I can." she smirks. "Because I've won."

"You're an asshole, Jamie." I grin at her.

"I love you too, Jace." she says with fake sweetness in her voice and stretches her arm out. "I'm in such a good mood that I'll even help you get up."

"You're saying you wouldn't do it if you weren't in a good mood?" I accept her help and stand up straight. I can still feel a slight pain in my ankle, but at least I can walk.

"You've just called me an asshole." she shrugs theatrically. "I usually kill people who call me an asshole."

"That's why you truly are an asshole."

"Don't push it, the-one-who-pays-the-dinner, or I'll order salmon and shrimps at Taki's." she threatens me, but its seriousness is lost in the huge smirk on her face.

I raise an eyebrow.

"You don't like shrimps."

"I'll give them to Alec, he loves them." she pats her brother's shoulder.

"You can order whatever you want, but I'm still saying it again: You're an asshole, Jamie."

"And that's just one of the many reasons why you love me." she smiles mischievously and then turns around to lead our way to Taki's.

_More than you know._ the thought appears in my mind, but luckily it stays there, it doesn't burst out of my mouth. _What's going on with me? Jamie is my best friend. How can I be in love with her? What's changed between us and made me feel this way?_

"Hold it!" Izzy grabs Jamie's hand and stops her. "As weird as it may seem, there _is_ something you're worse at than seducing, and that's orientating. I want to get to Taki's today."

Jamie opens her mouth to reply, but there isn't anything she can say. We all know she's a lost case when it comes to orientation. When she was around twelve, Maryse sent to a store near the Institute to get flour and milk for pancakes. She went alone and after she didn't come back for more than an hour, Izzy, Alec and I went to look for her. We found her wandering through the streets of New York, looking like a lost tourist. The store was only a few hundred meters away from the Institute, but she had missed it and ended up in another block. She wanted to come back, but couldn't find the way. Since that day, Jamie hasn't left the Institute without someone going with her, except for that one time which ended with her being afraid of unknown people. She made me worry so much that day that I've been determined to follow her everywhere to make sure she would come home in time and in one piece. It hasn't been hard, considering we've always had something to talk about and a small price for Jamie's safety. That was the first time I thought my best friend wasn't perfect after all, that she still had her flaws just like the rest of us. Even if it's a dumb one like lack of ability to find your way.

Isabelle takes the lead, followed by Alec. Since I still limp, I'm on the end, but Jamie adapts her steps, so we walk side by side.

"I'm still a better fighter than her." she mumbles to me, staring at Isabelle's back. "She always forgets that."

"Deep down she knows it, so she has to find something she's better at." I whisper with a smile on my face. "She already has one perfect creature in her house, she couldn't stand having two of them."

Jamie glances at her siblings and then at me.

"You're right." she says nonchalantly. "Max really is the most perfect and the cutest little thing in the world."

I snort and it makes her laugh.

We continue to follow Isabelle and Alec in silence.

It doesn't too long for me to realize why I look at Jamie through different eyes now. This was the first time that I was actually scared that Jamie would pick some other guy over me. I was afraid that she would forget me. Our tonight's surrounding, the Pandemonium, isn't a safe harbour like the Institute. It's a place where chaos rules. And people can get lost in that chaos, become what they're not. I was afraid that I'd lose Jamie I know. And that made me realize how much I want her to be by my side forever. I'm used to the fact that she has no other boys in her life but me, Alec and Max. She is the most stable founding of my life.

_But, if she finds someone else to share her secrets with, someone else to make her smile, someone else to kiss her ..._ I don't want to even think about it, even though I've never kissed Jamie myself. _I know I can't forbid her to love someone else, but I don't want her to love someone else, not that way. I want her to love _me_. _

I don't talk much at Taki's, lost in my own thoughts about Jamie. She sees something's been bothering me, but asks no questions, not in front of Alec and Isabelle. She's going to ask them later, when we are alone. I don't know if I'm more scared or delighted at the thought of being alone with Jamie. I catch myself glancing at her lips while she talks. I've heard so many words coming from those lips, I should know all about them. But, now I see their light red colour, like an unripe cherry. Her upper lip is thinner. I can see thin lines on the lower one, scars of her teeth. She bits her lip when something's not to her liking, she's been doing that since childhood.

_How would kissing them feel like?_ I can't help myself but to wonder. _Nobody has ever kissed them. Nobody can tell. _

It seems like an eternity had passed before we finally left Taki's. When we arrive in the Institute, I run to my room at once. I lock the door, not wanting anyone, not even Jamie, here until I reason with myself completely. The problem is I don't really want to face my thoughts about Jamie. They change everything I've ever known about us. Our friendship is the most precious thing to me, something that's been keeping me alive. I can't afford myself to lose it, not even in the favour of a romantic relationship.

'To love is to destroy.' I remember my father's words. She's my best friend and my love for her as a friend has never done anything to her. But, this is different. To love her romantically, to want her to love me the same way, it could destroy us. It could destroy what we have now. What if we start to date and then break up? What if she comes to a conclusion she doesn't feel about me the way I feel about her? What if I lose her forever just because of one night when I was jealous because I saw her in someone else's arms?

Shower manages to distract me, but not for a long time. Soon I'm lying in my bed, listening to the sound of my own breathing as I try to suppress the wish of Jamie lying next to me, within the reach of my hand where I can hug her, touch her, kiss her.

_No, no, no._ but, the picture of Jamie's neck under my lips doesn't go away. I can almost feel the taste of her skin, although I have really no idea what it tastes like. _But, it's Jamie. I know everything about her. She knows everything about me. She knows I'd never hurt her. Why shouldn't I love her, why shouldn't I _want_ her?_

Someone knocks on the door, snapping me out of my thoughts. I gasp, but don't answer.

"Jace!" I hear Jamie yelling. Her tone is impatient and I know she barely holds herself back from slamming her fists on the doors. "I have to talk to you! Open up!"

I can't face her now. I doubt I'll be able to face her tomorrow. She can't know how I feel about her now. I have to banish these thoughts out of my head. I mustn't ruin what we have.

I don't answer, hoping that she'll believe that I've fallen asleep. She doesn't give up easily, but after five or ten or I don't know how many minutes, yelling and slamming stop. To my great relief, she's chosen to go to her room instead of breaking into mine. I don't doubt she's able to do it, but one third of me, the rational one, is glad that she didn't. I know I wouldn't be able to explain what's going on without giving my secret away. The other third, the loyal one, hates me for hiding from her, from my best friend. I've been telling her everything, why can't I tell her this? After all, I've dated a lot of girls and I've never seen Jamie jealous of any of them. Maybe she's been jealous, but kept it to herself. She's my best friend, she'd understand. And the last third, the devilish one, regrets that I didn't open the door and kissed more passionately than I've ever kissed any other girl. I could have done that. I could have been that reckless and impulsive Jace Wayland she knows. I could have been the guy who takes what he wants, no matter whether he intends to keep it or not.

But, I can't do that to Jamie. She's not like other girls whom I play the game with only until I win the prize. She could make me feel real love. I truly care for her, I'd never hurt her. She understands me the way nobody else does. She knows my secrets, about my father, about my life before I came to live with the Lightwoods, everything. And I know her secrets, her fears, her dreams, everything. I want to be the person Jamie sees in me. That person has family and friends; that person loves life and enjoys it, despite everything that's happened. I want to be her best friend, but at the same time I want to be more. I want to see her face covered in the morning light. I want her eyes to radiate love when she looks at me. I want to get lost in their azure. I want her to know that I love her.

_To love is to destroy. You still haven't learned that, have you, boy?_ it's the last thought that I remember before I fall asleep, surrounded by sights of blue eyes and white hair.

* * *

_I lean gently toward her, putting my hands on her cheeks, pulling her closer. Our breaths mix for the last time before I press my lips against hers. I can feel every single one of the lines on her lip, but it's not unpleasant. At first I'm gentle, but desire to deepen the kiss streams through my veins. I do her job and bite her lip playfully. I can feel her lips shaping a smile under mine. We separate for a moment, just to catch our breaths, but then the game continues. Her fingers play with my hair, finding their way to my neck. Her fingers are cold, but their coldness tickles me. My hands leave her cheeks and lower on her back. My arms surround her completely; she seems so small and fragile. I don't remember Jamie being small and fragile. _

_Something's not right, I can feel it. I open my eyes and see that it's not Jamie I've been kissing few moments ago. I've never seen the girl who's smiling at me now. Her hair is red and her eyes are green. Jamie is at least a head taller than her. _

_But, then I notice a silhouette lying next to our feet and separate my gaze from the unknown girl. I bend down, wandering who it is. I start to tremble as I recognize the face: Jamie. Her heart is pierced with a Seraph blade. I glance at my gear and notice that one of my blades is missing. I look at the red-haired girl. She still smiles at me._

"To love is to destroy, Jonathan._" she says, but it's not a woman's voice that's coming out of her mouth. It's my father's. "_You still haven't learned that._"_

* * *

The next morning, I jump out of bed at 6.30 a. m., feeling like I've slept for thousand years. I feel full of energy, like I could reach the sky. I think about going to Jamie's room and waking her up, so we can practice or laugh or do anything we like. It's what I do every time I wake up before her. It doesn't happen often, since I'm the sleepy-head and she's the early bird, but I should take the opportunity.

I dress up fast and head for her room. It takes only two steps to arrive, since her room is right next to mine. I raise my hand, but before I touch her door, I remember.

_I should let her have some rest._ I know it's a lame excuse, but it's the best I can come up with at the moment. I stare at my hand that should be knocking on the door instead of standing still like it's made of stone. _I'll see her later. Maybe I'll think of an explanation. Maybe it'll all turn out well._

In a minute, I'm entering the weapons-room. I've expected no-one there, so I'm quite surprised to see Alec staring at me. There are bow and arrow in his hands and a target on the other side of the room.

"'Moring, Jace." he says politely. No matter how surprised he is by my presence in this early hour, he minds his manners. "Did your room set on fire?"

I'm caught in the middle of stretching, so it takes a couple of seconds for me to answer.

"What?" I ask, not realizing what he's aiming at. Even though my body is fully awake, I guess my brain still hasn't left the bed.

"You're awake and it's not 10 o'clock yet." he smirks.

I finally understand what he wants to say. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Alec doesn't mind his manners as carefully as I thought.

"Look who's talking." I bypass him and grab two blades that have lain on the shelf. "I don't remember you being an early bird either."

"Times change." he lets the arrow go and it hits the centre of the target.

"Yes, they do." I reply, thinking of Jamie.

"Where's Jamie?" he asks. "It's weird that I see you here and I don't see her next to you."

"We're not Siamese twins, Alec." I try to sound calm and carefree, but I can hear bitterness in my own voice. I'm so afraid of the questions and the possibility that someone finds out about my newfound feelings for Jamie. I can't even tell _her_, how can I tell anyone else?

One would have to be a complete idiot not to notice that, and Alec is certainly no idiot. His blue eyes are fixed on me and for a moment I hate them for looking just like Jamie's.

"Have you guys had a fight?" he asks carefully, knowing that suggesting something like that sounds like blasphemy.

"No." I throw one of the blades. I stare at it as it pierces the target right next to Alec's arrow.

"Then why ... "

"Would you be my _parabatai_?" it bursts out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

My eyes fix on him and for a few moments we just stare at each other. The surprise on his face perfectly matches mine, even though it was I who asked the question.

_He saved me yesterday._ my mind suddenly starts to explain its intentions to me. _He's always protected me. I've always been too reckless and he's been the one who's kept me safe from myself. Maybe he's the _parabatai_ I need._

"I would, of course." he says finally, but I can still hear surprise in his voice. "But I thought you and Jamie would be _parabatai_."

_Jamie._ I want to sigh, but I know it'd look suspicious, so I hold the sigh back. But, then it dawns on me and now it is smile that I have to hold back. _If she's not my _parabatai_, I_ _can love her. Maybe one day, when I gather my courage to tell her, we can be together._

"I asked you." I'm dozing gentleness in my voice carefully. I don't want Alec to think that I don't care for Jamie anymore nor that I feel something else beside friendship for her.

"And I take your answer is 'yes'?"

He stares at me for a moment longer and then nods.

"Yes, it is." he smiles at me.

"Good." I return the smile, but I have one reason more for smiling. Of course, I don't mention it to Alec. He's going to have enough trouble keeping me safe in battles. If I asked him to become my psychiatrist too, I'd damn him to the madness.

* * *

After an hour or two of practicing with Alec and a quick breakfast, I return to my room. I still have no idea what to say to Jamie, so I want to delay our next encounter as much as possible.

But, it's taken only five minutes since I lay down on my bed and started staring at the ceiling of my room before she dashes into my room like all the armies of hell are after her.

"Jonathan Christopher Wayland." she hisses at me.

I stand up straight and sit down on my bed.

"Jacqueline Stephanie Lightwood." I smile at her in attempt of calming her down or at least making her focus on something else, but my plan doesn't work out at all. She closes the door of my room and leans on it, not coming closer, like I have some contagious disease.

"Is it true?" she asks coldly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Is it what true?" I answer with a question, although I know it's no use. I know perfectly well what she's talking about.

"You asked Alec to be your _parabatai_." she's obviously not in the mood for playing games. She's come here to get the answers and she won't let me avoid giving them to her.

"Yes, I did." I mumble, but enough loudly for her to hear it.

I can barely stand her gaze. It's so full of disappointment, loss and anger. I know she feels like I've let her down. It's all because of that damn love again. I want to love her, but my love is destroying all the good things between us. For the thousandth time I think my father was right after all.

"Why Alec?" she doesn't take her eyes off mine. "We've been best friends for years, Jace. We know everything about each other, we're similar ... I thought that if I ever had a _parabatai_, that'd be you. You and no-one else. I thought you felt the same way."

_But, if I become your _parabatai_, I can't love you._ it's the Shadowhunters' Law. _Parabatai _can be related or friends or worst enemies, they just mustn't be in love with each other.

"He's like a brother to me." I say, still trying to think of a way not to hurt her. "Isn't it what's having a _parabatai_ all about? To be like brothers?"

I know I still haven't answered all of her questions, but momentarily I can't make myself say anything to her that's not true. I do think of Alec as of a brother and if there wasn't for Jamie, I'd have no doubt about him being my _parabatai_. Even though we are very different persons, we have the most important thing in common and that's worry for Jamie, Isabelle and Max. I may be reckless as hell, but maybe it's because I subconsciously know that I always have Alec to protect me. He watches over me, over all of us, and keeps us from getting into trouble. As the oldest one, he's more reasonable and mature than the rest of us. I've always admired his ability to stay calm even in the most annoying or dangerous situations. As much as I hate to admit it, Jamie and I would probably get ourselves killed on out first mission together on our own. There would be no-one to hold us back, to tell us when something is just too much. I'd end up the same on my own. But, Alec will keep me save from myself, I know it. I'll be stubborn and try to ignore him, but he'll never leave me.

But, it's not my choice of Alec as a _parabatai_ what hurts Jamie. If she was a neutral person in this situation, I know she'd be the biggest supporter of Alec and me as _parabatai_, her brother and her best friend. But, she's not neutral and I know she has every right to be mad at me.

"To be closer than brothers." she makes a few steps forward, but remains out of my reach. "I thought you and I were just that. But, obviously I was wrong."

"No, you weren't." the words burst out of me. I can't stand watching her as she tries her best to hide her pain and doesn't succeed. The matter has to be really painful to break through Jamie's defences. And hurting her is like hurting myself. This is my fault and I have to find the way to make it right. "You're my best friend, Jamie. I can't even describe what you mean to me. I could handle losing everything in my life except for you."

"So, why didn't you ask _me_ to be your _parabatai_?" she looks away from me suddenly and I realize that she's been holding tears back all this time. And I'm the reason for her tears.

I get up immediately and before I even know what I'm doing, my arms surround her. She tries to push me once, but with barely tenth of her strength. I know she doesn't want me to see her weakness, but at the same time she wants me to comfort her. She's so used to playing the role of a bad-ass girl who is always strong and confident that it frightens her to be an opposite of that picture. She thinks she has to be like that all the time, because if she isn't, she won't be Jamie Lightwood anymore.

But, I know that other part of Jamie Lightwood, perhaps even better than she knows it herself. I'm not afraid of seeing it, I'm not afraid of removing the mask off her face. Unlike Jamie herself, I love that part too, the part that need someone else, needs _me_, to be there for her, to tell her she can always be herself with me, she can tell me exactly how she feels and never be afraid of being mocked, not when it truly matters. I love it because it tells me how important I truly am to her. I know a big part of me would die without Jamie and that vulnerable part of her tells me that a big part of her would die without me too.

I can feel her tremble in my arms. Her cheek rests on my shoulder and top of her head is right in front of my lips. Without too much thinking, I gently kiss her hair.

"I don't want to change what we have even a bit." I whisper in her ear, words suddenly coming as easily as breathing. "Why trying to improve something that's already perfect?"

She separates her head from my body, so she can look me in the eyes, but doesn't escape my embrace.

"Is that the only reason?" she sniffs and raises her hand to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "I can live with that, as long as nothing is changed between us. We're still best friends, right? You're not mad at me and I'm not mad at you. Everything is still the same, isn't it?"

_I wish that it was._ I don't answer for a moment, looking at her eyes. I can't lie to those eyes, but I have to. _She wants me to be just her friend, she's said that quite clearly. I'll respect her wish, even though I want something else. But, I won't be the reason for her tears ever again._

"Yes, it is." I nod.

She smiles weakly at me, but then something draws her attention.

"I'm sorry, your T-shirt is wet." she points at the spot on my shoulder where her head has been leant few moments ago.

"Don't worry about it." it's not the wet T-shirt that troubles me. I know that in few seconds or less, I'll have to let her go. I won't touch her strong muscles with my fingers, smell the scent of her skin or feel the warmness of her body next to mine.

_Jamie, I'm in love with you._ it's a simple sentence, but I still can't say it out loud. _That's the real reason I don't want you to be my _parabatai_. I want to love you with all of my heart and I want you to love me the same way in return. But, I can't have that, can I?_

She shakes her head slightly, like she's suddenly woken up, wipes the rest of the tears away and then grins at me like nothing happened.

"So, are you in the mood for getting your ass kicked?" she moves away from me, toward the door. "You against me in shooting with bow and arrow. Alec can be the judge."

That's my Jamie. When something goes wrong, attack of the adrenaline heals everything. I guess I owe her that combat, even though I'd rather avoid being in the same room with the person who is to become my _parabatai_ and the person who was so hurt by my choice. But, the grin on Jamie's face is so wide that I'm not sure that she hasn't half-forgotten it already.

"I'm always in the mood for _kicking asses_." I grin at her as well. "And I owe you one for yesterday."

"If you continue to bet against me, you'll be paying my dinners 'till the end of your life." she rolls her eyes. "Not that I'd mind."

"Today's one is on you." I say confidently. "Out of my way, Jacqueline."

Even if she wanted, I doubt she could think about this morning's events now. It's the very reason why I said it.

"Do you remember what I told you on the day we met?" her eyes shine dangerously as cat's in the night. "About using my first name?"

"It's a tactical move." I smirk. "I'm trying to distract you, so you have to pay the dinner today."

"It's not a fair game then." she frowns.

"All is fair in love and war." my voice almost breaks on the word 'love', but I manage to keep it under control. I'm doing this for love, for love I feel for Jamie.

But, the things look differently from her perspective. She's doing this for love, too. But, for love for adrenaline, for fight, for fun. Not for love for me.

"The war it is." she says. "I hope you're ready."

**The good explanation of the fact that Jamie and Jace aren't _parabatai_ ( I want this story to stay similar to the books as much as possible, so Alec must be Jace's _parabatai_ ) was necessary. So, Jace loving someone else before Clary somehow came as natural, especially because it's his best friend. Jace's love for Jamie will just add more drama when Clary comes to the picture and she's coming in the next chapter, I promise :)**

**The part written in _italic_ is Jace's dream, but he doesn't remember it, so it will have no influence on his feelings toward Clary when they meet. It's just a little mystical part of the story, for my entertainment. I hope this chapter in general entertained you :)**


	4. Chapter 1: Jamie

**So, we are at the beginning of CoB finally. I tried to change at least some of the lines, because if you wanted to read the same words again, you'd be reading Cassandra Clare's book, not my fanfiction. I hope you'll like it :)**

"C'mon, Izzy." I mumble under my breath, my eyes fixed on my sister's black head in the crowd. "Find it already."

"Nervous?" Jace stands next to me, leant on the bar like he possesses it. Judging by the huge grin on his face and restless gold eyes that scan every person around us, one would say he owns the entire Pandemonium.

"I'm sick of this place." it's the truth in every sense. The club stinks of cigarettes, alcohol and sweat, so it's hard to breathe if one's not used to it, and this amount of people makes me feel claustrophobic. It's not easy to do your job as a Shadowhunter in this place. Too many people, too little manoeuvring space, too big chances to lose the target. Give me the open field any day.

"Liar." Jace chuckles. "You're having fun. You're even swinging in the rhythm."

I catch myself doing just that unconsciously. I curse under my breath and calm down at once, making myself stand still like a stone. I hate the fact that he's right about the swinging, but that doesn't mean his other statement is true.

"That means it's a good song, not that I'm having fun." I reply.

He stares at me without a word for few moments. Then his eyes fix on someone in the crowd, reminding me that I've forgotten about Isabelle.

_There's no way I'll let her kill that demon on her own._ I frown. _I haven't spent more than half an hour in this bloody club just to go home without killing at least one of them. _

I look for Alec firstly because I know where he is supposed to stand. He's still there, his back against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. My breathing is calmer again. I haven't missed the action. I leave locating Isabelle to Jace.

"I think your parents have been lying to you, Jamie." his voice whispers on my ear.

"Really?" I lean closer to him so he can hear me. The song has just been changed and I hate this one. "How exactly?"

"The twins should be similar." he grins. "And while you and Isabelle can't differ more, the similarities between you and Alec are sometimes frightening."

I realize Alec and I have been standing in the exactly same positions and that's what makes Jace grin. I can't deny that I look and think much more like him than like Isabelle. Maybe it would be better if I was Alec's twin. Too bad I can't find any reason why my parents would lie to me about my siblings.

"Unfortunately, I have to live with the knowledge that I embarrass my socially-skilful twin sister with my very existence." I sigh overdramatically.

But, this care-freeness, it's just pretending. And Jace knows why I do it. All people make me feel uncomfortable, with the exception of my family, Hodge and Jace, of course. Whenever someone I don't know approaches me, I want to run away at once. I'm afraid that the person will say or do something I won't like. Since that man, I can't get close to anyone. I haven't made a single friend since then. But, I don't need others anyway, as long as I have Jace.

"Maybe you should tell her." his eyes glance at me significantly with no trace of smiling in them. "She'd understand. She'd help you to trust people again."

I think his words over for a moment, but then shake my head.

"I've been trying to forget." I look away from him, knowing what he is talking about. But, I don't want to talk about it ever again. Not to him, not to Isabelle, not to anyone. "Telling her would just make everything worse. You remember your promise, don't you?"

"I fully intend to keep it." he replies right away, as if his honour was hurt. "But, I know it bothers you when she mocks you."

"It doesn't." I frown. I must be strong now. This isn't the time for crying. "Isabelle doesn't know. I can forgive her ignorance."

I know he wants to argue, but something draws his attention. I follow the line of his gaze and notice Isabelle nodding at us before she starts to walk away toward the door with NO ADMITTANCE–STORAGE written across it in red colour.

She separates her gaze from us and smiles seductively at someone in the crowd. Then she opens the door and enters. My body tenses, but I don't move, not yet. After a few moments, a guy with blue hair breaks through the crowd and follows Isabelle inside.

As one, Jace and I hurry after them. I take my _sai_ out of my gear, using them here and there to make people move out of my way. Mundanes can't see me, so they have no idea stung them and even if they could see ne, they couldn't do anything to have a revenge on me. The Downworlders are mostly too drunk or too busy with one another to notice me. Halfway through the bunch of people around us, Alec joins us. I don't keep my eyes off the door. I'm sure Izzy can handle that one demon on her own, but I want to kill it myself. It's the only reason why this going out could be worth of my time.

"He's all yours, boys and girl." Isabelle says as we enter the room.

The demon is lying on the floor, Isabelle's whip wrapped up around its ankles. Jace and Alec grab it, making it stand upright and then throw it against one of the pillars. Soon the demon's hands are tied up behind the pillar. The fun can finally start.

"Love the hair." I smirk at the demon, singling one of the blue locks out with one of my _sai_. "Do tell, in which circle of hell they make this kind of stuff? Is it the fourth? Where the big spenders are?"

"You're not going to quote Dante, are you, Jamie?" Isabelle's tone is threatening, but I don't care. I'm finally doing what I'm supposed to do, nothing worries me now.

"If it doesn't behave, maybe." I let go of the lock, but my _sai_ stops in front of the demon's forehead. "Since you don't want to discuss your hairstyle, maybe you could tell us if there are any others with you."

The demon tries to set its hands free, but I know perfectly well there's no use. I let it to figure it out itself. I have time.

"Any other what?" it spits scornfully.

Really, the demons are the most pathetic actors ever. How do mundanes mistake them for other mundanes? You truly have to be stupid.

"C'mon now." Jace interferes, making a step to stand between me and the demon. I don't like his move, but I suppress my muttering. Jace will probably do something that will make me laugh. I should lean back and enjoy the show. "You know what we are."

The demon's black eyes remain fixed on Jace's face for a moment. Then it looks at Jace's arms and the moment it sees the runes, it frowns.

"Shadowhunters." it hisses.

"Very good." I stand next to Jace. "Now that we all know each other, you only need to tell us ... "

I'm interrupted by a sound of footsteps. I turn around and see a girl. A short red-haired girl. She looks too young to be in a place like Pandemonium, maybe around thirteen years old.

_She's probably drunk._ I think, watching her as she fights with the electrical wires her feet tangled into. _A little drunk mundane who won't know that she's alive for the next two days._

"You need to tell us if there are more of your kind with you." I continue like nothing happened. "And spare us of the crap like 'I have no idea what you're talking about.'. We all know what you are. Maybe that drunk girl over there doesn't, but if she could see your real face, even she could define what you are."

The silence lasts only for a moment. But, to my surprise and annoyance, it's not the demon that broke it in.

"I'm not drunk." an unfamiliar voice behind my back says.

I turn around once again. The mundane managed to set her feet free and now she's staring at us like we've suddenly grown two heads and five arms each.

"You can see us?" I'm taken aback by the fact, but I put the expression of boredom and disinterest on my face, like I meet the mundanes who can see us every day.

"Of course I can." she frowns. "I'm not blind."

"If you are not, you should see what's good for you." I smirk at her. Now that the first shock has passed, I just want to get rid of her. "So, be a good little girl and leave. I doubt your Mummy has allowed you to go to the club anyway."

She blushes and I know I have the advantage. But when she still stands there after five seconds have passed, she starts to annoy me.

"I'm not going anywhere." she says stubbornly. "If I do, you'll kill him."

I glance at the demon and then at Jace. He smirks back at me, confirming that he has had enough of the mundane girl too.

"That's true." he addresses her. "Why do you care if we kill him or not?"

"Be- Because ... " her voice weakens and I know that even if she finds an excuse, it will be a lame one. "You can't just go around killing people."

I laugh out loud together with Jace. Isabelle and Alec stay serious, but on the other hand, this kind of stuff doesn't amuse them. But, it's the true fun for Jace and me.

"And you're one hundred percent sure that's a human?" I point at the demon with my _sai_.

She hesitates for a moment, glances at the demon and then nods.

"You mundanes are either completely blind or completely stupid. Maybe both." I sigh.

"That's not a person, little girl." Jace says and his blade joins my _sai_ in front of demon's face. "It may look like a person and talk like a person and maybe even bleed like a person. But, it's a monster."

"Jace." Isabelle hisses his name, but I'm sure the warning tone in her voice refers to me as well. "That's enough."

"You're crazy." the girl's eyes are almost bigger than her fists. "I've called the police, you know. They'll be here any second."

"I wonder what they'll find." this mundane looks and sounds stupider with every second. "A body and people that don't exist or an underage girl who got high?"

"Enough of this." Alec interferes before the mundane can reply. "Kill it already, so we ... "

There's no time for my brother to finish his thought. The bloody demon scrum set itself free and jumped on Jace, who was closest to him. Its claws reach for Jace's face and throat, but Jace grabs its hands and holds the claws as far from his own face as possible. I jump towards them, avoid one swing toward my head and stab the demon with my _sai_. The smell of sulphur fills the room immediately.

But, the demon doesn't let go of Jace. So I stab it once more. I hear Isabelle's whip cracking and it wraps around one of the demon's hands. I grab the other one and pull. The new-grown claws on demon's feet try to hold Jace's waist, but they have no chance against mine and Isabelle's strength. I throw the demon against the wall and hurry to cut its hand off before it can pull itself together. We still haven't got our answers. Maybe this will make the demon change its mind and cooperate.

Jace is already squatting in front of the demon, his blade under demon's throat.

"So," he spats at demon's face. "Are there any others with you?"

The demon looks him in the eyes and smirks.

"There will be many of them soon." it hisses. "Valentine is coming for you, little Shadowhunter. And his Forsaken will take you all."

Jace's blade pierces his throat. I can't say I don't agree with his decision. The demon has become boring and it would have given us nothing but the false rumours about Valentine being alive. That has been a surprising and maybe a bit frightening thing to hear few weeks ago, but now it seems that every demon thinks that if they mention Valentine, we'll piss ourselves of fear.

The demon's body twitches for few moments, becoming smaller and smaller with every second and then dissolves completely. I stretch my hand out to Jace and help him to stand up straight.

"You killed my demon." I let go of his hand and press his chest with my forefinger. "You owe me."

"Again?" he grins. "I don't have enough money to pay all of my debts to you."

"And where are you going?" Isabelle's voice interrupts our conversation.

I turn around to see my sister's whip around the mundane's hand. The girl gasps in pain and surprise, like she thought Isabelle was the nice one in our group.

"Stupid little mundane." Isabelle hisses. "You could have got Jace and Jamie killed."

"You're all crazy!" the girl tries to set her wrist free with panic in both her movements and voice. "You're a bunch of crazy killers! The police - ..."

"You claim you're not blind." I come closer, amused by panic in her eyes as she follows the _sai_ in my hands. "Are you deaf then, little girl? Haven't you heard what I told you before? About the body that doesn't exist and a girl who got high? It sounds like a beginning of a good joke."

Jace chuckles. The girl ignores him and glances at the place the demon had been lying before Jace killed it. I can see on her face that she finally realizes that her words would earn her one-way ticket to the mental hospital.

"They return to their home dimensions when they die." Jace explains when the girl says nothing. "In case you were wondering."

"Jace, be careful." Alec warns him, but Jace just waves his hand nonchalantly.

"She already knows too much, Alec." he says calmly.

"So what should I do with her?" Isabelle asks.

The four of us exchange glances. As usually, I suggest the first solution.

"We can hit her really hard on the head and hope she'll get amnesia." it's not a serious suggestion, but the mix of fear and irritation in the girl's expression amuses me.

"And you wonder why I call you an asshole." Jace grins at me, but Alec and Isabelle remain serious.

"Maybe we should take her with us." Alec says seriously, but his suggestion makes everyone frown. My suggestion was better, at least two persons in the room were grinning like crazy.

"No way." I say immediately. "She's a mundane, Alec. We're not babysitters."

"I bet Hodge would like to talk to her." he crosses his arms over his chest, like he has just won.

"You know you always lose the bets against me." I shake my head. "We are not taking her with us. Hodge can get out for once and find her himself."

"I agree with Jamie." Isabelle supports me. "She's a mundie, Alec."

"Or is she?" we all look at Jace, who looks at the girl, who looks back at him. "Have you had dealings with demons, little girl? Walked with warlocks, talked with the Night Children? Have you ... ?"

"My name is not 'little girl'." she snaps and it makes me grin again. _You can't say we're lying,_ little _girl._ "And I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Clary?" new voice comes from the door. I separate my gaze from the red-haired girl and find myself staring at the boy who is even more of an intruder in Pandemonium than I am. He wears glasses, wide T-shirt with sign of some band on it and jeans. His brown hair and brown eyes are easily forgettable. Not to mention that he can see only his little friend. "Are you OK? Why are you in here by yourself? What happened to the guys with the knives?"

"Tell your friend my weapons are called '_sai_'." I smirk at her. "And there is a difference between a blade and a knife, so you haven't got that part right either."

She frowns at me, but doesn't reply. I can see on her face that she bits her tongue, so she doesn't answer to my provocations.

"Jamie, leave the poor girl alone." Jace says to me, but I can hear in his voice that he has been instructed by Alec to silence me.

"I thought they went in here." the girl turns around to face her friend. "But, I guess they didn't. I'm sorry. It was a mistake."

Isabelle giggles. Jace and I chuckle. But, the girl doesn't turn around again. I guess she wishes that this whole thing truly was a mistake. But, it's her fault anyway. If she had minded her own business and let us do our work without interfering, she would still have lived in blessed oblivion.

"Next time be a good girl and stay at home, so there won't be any mistake." I make a remark.

Her body tenses, but she manages to keep control over herself and get out of the room. Too bad. I catch myself wishing to see that girl again. Since Jace killed the demon, teasing her was the best fun I've had today.

_Rather not._ I conclude in the end. _Mundanes are just a dead weight. She almost got us killed. If we never see here again, no-one will be happier than me._

**So, how was it? You'll say Jamie was cruel to Clary, but so was Jace in the books. With my OC in there, Clary will have to endure a lot. But, don't worry, there will be chapters from Clary's point of view too. And she'll strike back. Just to mention, I found a perfect picture for Jamie's character ( alright, it's almost perfect, just try to imagine the girl on it with blue eyes ), it's on my profile. Thank you all who reviewed, faved or followed or** **just read. You all have my gratitude :)**


	5. Chapter 2: Alec

"She was the only one who could see you?" Hodge's gray eyes wander from me to Isabelle, to Jace, to Jamie. "And you're absolutely sure that she wasn't a Downworlder or one of us?"

We are in the library of the Institute, standing around the table in the middle of it. Library is one of Hodge's favourite places in our home, so we weren't surprised to find him here when we returned from Pandemonium. It's certainly better place to discuss important matters than the greenhouse which he prefers even more. It's too hot up there in my opinion.

"Of course we are." Jace snorts. He doesn't like to be treated like a child, but his open impoliteness is probably caused by the fatigue.

Hodge's questions and doubts are annoying me too right now, because all I want is to take a shower and go to bed, but I know Hodge only wants the best for us, so I restrain myself from showing my annoyance openly. Hodge already has enough trouble with the two biggest rebels in the Institute, my _parabatai_ and my youngest sister. I know I should, as the oldest one among my siblings, show calmness and sense of compassion and responsibility when the rest of my family doesn't, so I play my part.

"She had no runes; she's definitely not one of us." Isabelle adds firmly. "And she had no idea what we were talking about when we asked her about warlocks and vampires and demons."

"Could she be a mundane with the Sight?" I ask, remembering what I've read in some of the books that surround us. "She wouldn't be the first one."

Everyone look at me at once, making me feel uncomfortable. I hate when people stare at me, even when it's my own family. I keep my eyes on Hodge, not wanting to meet the gaze of any of my siblings. It has been hard to look either of them in the eyes for quite some time, Isabelle because of her knowledge, Jamie and Jace especially because of their ignorance.

"Maybe." he shrugs. "I haven't seen her myself. Maybe I'd know more after talking to her."

"You're not saying we should find her and bring her here, are you?" Jamie protests at once. "Why should we worry about her? She'll probably convince herself in time that what I told her was the truth and that she got high."

Hodge raises an eyebrow.

"You told her she got high? Now I know she surely won't believe you."

"Why not?" Jamie crosses her hands over her chest, a smirk playing on her lips. "I'm a very persuasive person."

"When people get high, their imaginary friends don't tell them they got high." Jace chuckles, patting Jamie's shoulder theatrically.

"Like you'd know." she grins at him. "When did you get high?"

"I've been told by a very well informed source." Jace says mischievously.

_It must have been one of the many girls he has dated._ I feel a prick of jealousy in my stomach, but not only because of those girls. Jace has always been so attractive, so confident, so unattainable to all of the girls, but to one. Whenever I see him smiling at Jamie like that, like they share a secret with every word that comes out of their mouths, I want to punch something. I know they are just friends; I know that I shouldn't be jealous of my little sister, but I can't help it.

"Save this subject for the some other time." Isabelle interferes. "The question is: Are we going to bring her here or not?"

After a few moments of silence, Hodge nods.

"Bring her here." he says. "We must find out what she is and what she knows."

"I'll find her." Jace's sudden eagerness takes us all by surprise, even Jamie. "It shouldn't be too hard."

"You know how it goes; finds it, babysits it." but there is no humour in either Jamie's voice or her expression. I can't define the exact moment when it started, but she's been scorning mundanes for a long time.

"Oh, did I say 'I'?" Jace smirks at her. "I meant 'we', of course."

"And why do you think I'll help you?" she raises an eyebrow. "You know how I feel about dead weights and mundanes. If we assume they're not synonyms, of course."

"Admit it, you're curious." he chuckles. "If you weren't, you'd just say an extremely loud 'NO' and we'd all have to do as you say."

The joke cheers Jamie up. She doesn't smile, but her expression softens. Power that Jace has over her is amazing.

"Don't tempt me." she says, but I can hear in her voice that she'll agree with Jace in the end. It's how it works out between them. No matter how much they don't want to do something, if the other one wants to do it, they'll follow each other. Sometimes I think they are like two parts of the same person.

"You and Jace are going to look for the girl tomorrow." Hodge interrupts their conversation, not giving Jamie the opportunity to protest again. "You should all have some rest now."

We've just been dismissed, so we head for our rooms. Isabelle runs away first, since having a bath takes more time for her than for the rest of us. Jamie, Jace and I are waddling slowly, but we're too tired to talk.

I'm not surprised by the fact Jamie didn't complain anymore. She'd follow Jace to the end of the world, so the search for the mundane girl should be bearable. I can't say I agree with the idea of bringing a strange mundane into the Institute, but the girl poses a threat. We can't know whom she may tell about us. Most of the mundanes will deem her mad, but if the wrong ears hear about us, it won't be good. I guess that's the reason why Hodge wants us to bring her here.

"Jamie." I suddenly remember something. "I've won our bet."

The look she gives me asks me if I have gone mad. She's always been good at forgetting her defeats.

"I told you that Hodge would want to talk with the mundane girl." I grin victoriously.

It dawns on her, but all she does is glancing at Jace.

"Whatever I owe you, Jace will pay it." she waves her hand nonchalantly. "He killed my demon and I'll have to hunt a mundane tomorrow instead of demons because of him. So, please, name your price. And make it big."

"Stop shifting the costs of your lost bets onto me." Jace protests with a smirk. "Alec, she owes and she'll pay. A dinner for the entire family on her expense should do it."

"I agree." I enjoy seeing Jamie frowning at me and even more Jace smiling at me for supporting him.

"I'm your sister." she pushes my chest with her forefinger. "That little scrum over there is nothing to you."

"This little scrum over here is his _parabatai_." Jace chuckles and pats my shoulder.

_One, two, three__._ I count quickly as his hand touches me. My every contact with Jace during the last two months has been bittersweet. We're close, but we'll never be close in the way I want us to be. He likes girls, he's proven that more than enough times. Besides, we are _parabatai_. _Parabatai_ mustn't be in love with each other. It's not enough that I'm in love with my stepbrother, with a _guy_, but I also break the Law too. That's why it has to remain a secret, at least until I die. Jace is better Shadowhunter than me, he'll surely live longer. The Shadow world doesn't forgive weaknesses.

"Bring your wallet to Taki's, Jamie." I shape the best smirk I can on my lips, just to hide my uneasiness.

"I'll bring Jace's then." she replies.

"You don't know where I keep it anymore." Jace still stands next to me, his shoulder touching mine, so I have hard time following the conversation. "You '_borrowed_' 10 bucks from it and I never saw them again. So, I've found a new hiding place for it."

"If you think your underwear will stop me from borrowing your money when I need it, you're badly mistaken." she smirks.

_I can't believe how she can be so relaxed while talking about Jace's underwear._ I'm holding my breath, but I can't help it_. I'd never ... Crap, crap, don't think about it, he stands right next to you, he'll notice it and ..._

"That's called 'stealing', Jamie; didn't your mother teach you that?" Jace's sarcasm manages to break the mess in my mind in.

"It's not stealing when you owe me that same money." she explains calmly like a mother to a child. "I let you keep it safe for me and took it when I needed it."

"I don't remember you've paid me for keeping your money safe." he crosses his arms over his chest.

If I didn't know them, I'd think they are the worst enemies forced to live under the same roof. But, after years and years of listening to them every day, I know that this is the way they have fun. A day they don't insult each other at least ten times is a wasted day. But, it's not serious. It's a competition in outsmarting each other. There is no greater victory than leaving the other one speechless. They are both sarcastic and witty, so after years of practice on each other, other people have no chance against them. I've given up arguing with any of them few years ago. I know that I'll lose the battle before it even starts. Isabelle still tries sometimes, but she starts to realize the uselessness of it too.

"I'm too tired to listen to this." I bypass Jamie and head for my room. "You can stay here and discuss your debts as long as you want."

None of them speaks, but when I enter my room and start closing the door, I hear them burst out laughing.

"Brilliantly played, my friend." I hear Jamie's voice. "He's already forgotten the bet he had won."

"Do you think we're becoming too annoying?" Jace asks ironically. "Not even Alec can stand us anymore."

There is a sudden silence, like Jamie is seriously thinking his words over. I prick up my ears, wanting to hear what she has to say. Is it possible that she finally finds their behaviour childish?

"NAH!" they both yell at the same time and the laugh continues. I close my door before they can see I've been eavesdropping.

This is why I'm so jealous of Jamie. She and Jace are so close. As his _parabatai_, I should be the closest to him. I should be able to know his thoughts without needing him to tell me. I should be the one he cares the most for. But, it's completely obvious that I'm not. I'm always overshadowed by Jamie. I always come second in his heart.

_At least it's my sister whom he loves the most._ I rebuke myself as I get ready for bed. _She's my family and I'm happy that she has someone who will protect her when I can't. And I know she'll protect Jace too. There are worst situations than this. Imagine that the most important person in his life is someone I hate._

* * *

The next morning, I find Jace alone in the library. The book in front of him has five hundred pages at least. Across the table there are two more almost equally thick, one opened and one closed.

"What're you reading?" I ask as I come closer to him.

"The list of children born sixteen years ago." he replies, not raising his eyes to look at me.

"Aha." I yawn. The mere thought of such a boring job makes me feel tired. But, I suddenly snap out of it. "Where did you get this?"

"Jamie and I paid a little visit to the centre this morning." if I didn't know what he was reading, judging by his behaviour, I'd say it is the most interesting book in the world.

"You stole these books, you mean." I frown at him. How can he be so reckless? And having Jamie by his side isn't helping at all.

"By the Angel, Alec, you sound like Maryse." he chuckles. "Relax. No-one saw us. And it's not like we're going to keep them. When we find what we need, we'll bring them back. I doubt anyone will notice they're missing. Who'd want to read this crap anyway?"

I know he's right, but his observation bothers me. I don't like to sound like my mother. I know I'm the oldest one in the family, but sometimes I hate it. I always have to be the responsible one, always worrying about others. That separates me from them. It separates me from my reckless _parabatai_.

"And where is Jamie?" I decide to change the subject. "Shouldn't she be helping you?"

"I'm here." she bypasses me so suddenly that I jump. I hate her soundless steps. "Can't a girl go to the bathroom here without anyone supposing she's shirking?"

"I apologize, dear sister." I grin at her and she does the same.

"Just for the future, 'dearest' sister would be more appreciated."

I watch her as she sits at the table across from Jace and pulls the book closer.

"And what are _you_ reading, _dearest_ sister?" I emphasise the word mockingly.

"The list of children born fourteen years ago." she replies, turning the page. "Jace thinks the mundane looked sixteen and I think she looked fourteen, so we're checking both lists."

"And what if she is fifteen?" I raise an eyebrow.

"We brought that list, too." she points at the last book on the table. "You can be my dear brother who'll help his sister and his _parabatai_ to look for the mundane."

She never calls Jace her brother. Isabelle, Max and I are not in the same group as Jace in Jamie's head. We are her siblings, he's her best friend. I'd say the bond between them is stronger than the blood that binds us. I can't explain it, but I'd lie if I claimed otherwise.

I sit down next to Jamie and pull the last book closer.

"So, what am I looking for?" I open the first page and sigh at the sight of so many names that I need to check.

"Her friend called her 'Clary'." Jace answers. "Look for anyone with that name. Or Clarissa or Clara. 'Clary' could easily be a nickname."

"I've found none so far." Jamie mutters. It's impossible to miss boredom in her voice.

"I've found two." Jace mumbles. "Clarissa Clark and Clarissa Fray. O, and Clara Green now."

For a moment, I forget all about the book and my task. I glance at Jace. That ... gentleness in his voice is quite unusual. So is his interest in this girl. Why is he so eager to find her? Is it possible that he likes her, even though he knows nothing more than her name?

_No way. Jamie would know and tease him about it the whole morning._ I glance at my sister. _On the other hand, Jamie and dating are two concepts that can't be mentioned in the same sentence. She's been blind about Jace for a long time. Maybe she hasn't notice it. Or she doesn't care. She knows what he's like. One more girl doesn't bother her. In the end, she's always the only important one to him._

In the last year, I've noticed small, yet visible changes in Jace's behaviour toward Jamie. Like looking at her when he thinks no-one is paying attention, letting the touches last a second longer than normal. I can't say I'd put my right hand into the fire that it's true, but I think he's in love with her. It's made me wonder multiple times whether he really wanted _me_ as his _parabatai_ or just wanted to avoid becoming Jamie's, so he could love her. I've been hoping it's the first at hand, but I've had my moments of doubt. But, Jamie's remained the same, loving him in her own way, but not romantically. I wonder if Jace feels about her the way I feel about him; that no matter how much I love him, he'll never love me the same way back.

"I've found one." Jamie says, her eyes still fixed on the book. "Clarissa McDonald."

"Maybe that's her." he didn't look at me before, but it's no problem for Jace to look at Jamie now. "She's red-haired, isn't she? And the surname sounds Irish."

"You're full of prejudices." she smirks at him. "The fact she's red-haired doesn't make her Irish."

"But, it increases the chances that I'm right." he returns the smirk and goes back to reading.

"I'll laugh at you with pleasure when we prove that's not her." she says before going back to her list.

"Wanna bet?"

"I can't believe I'm trying to help you, but aren't you tired of bets you never win?" it's both amusing and annoying how they can behave like nobody is in the room but them.

"I will win this one." he says determinedly. "Who's your guess?"

"I'll tell you when we find every Clara and Clarissa." Jamie plays it smartly.

"Yours, Alec?" he can't beat her, so he remembers me, the only other person in the room he can torment.

"I won't take part in your bets." I shake my head. "Even when I win, you can't agree who'll give me my winnings. So, there's no use."

They both chuckle, realizing I heard their conversation last night. But, they're not mad at me because of it. It amuses them. There are many things that amuse them. Making fun of people often does. I kind of pity the poor mundane who will have to meet them again soon. She has no idea what is coming after her.

**So, how was Alec's POV? This is the first thing I ever wrote with him as a central character, so I'm not sure if it turned out well. If something wasn't good, tell me so I can make it better. I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistake. Thanks for all the reviews, faves, follows, I hope you like it so far :)**


	6. Chapter 3: Clary

**New chapter for you, people :) I hope you'll like it.  
**

**I don't own the song "Because I got high". It belongs to Afroman.**

"Excuse me." blonde girl with I-pod in her hands suddenly addresses me. "Is that your boyfriend?"

I open my mouth to give a negative answer, completely sure I don't know the said guy. I know no-one here but Eric, Matt and, of course, Simon. I'm caught off guard when I notice she's pointing at the last one mentioned, who is walking toward us, carrying a cup of coffee in each hand.

"No." I mumble, both surprised and amused. "He's my friend."

"He's cute." she checks him out once more before looking at me again. "Does he have a girlfriend?"

Her question takes me by surprise again. It sounds strange, Simon having a girlfriend. What if his girlfriend would be some jealous bitch who would forbid him to hang out with me just because I'm a girl? No, we're better this way. Two best friends, forever single together.

"No." I shake my head, knowing that I hesitated too much with the answer. I don't want to sound jealous, but I don't want to lose Simon either. He's been my best friend for years. I couldn't stand losing him.

"Is he gay?" the girl continues to interrogate me and the level of awkwardness in our conversation increases with every new question.

_Thank you, Simon._ I think to myself when he sits next to me just at the right time that I don't have to answer the last question.

He says something about mugs and coffee, but I don't pay attention. I catch myself judging his appearance. I don't know if I've ever thought about it before, but when I look at him now, I notice Simon isn't hopeless where his look is concerned. Of course, some things could improve, but there is no reason why girls wouldn't like him. His eyes are dark and warm, like the coffee in our cups. He's nice and fun. He'd make a good boyfriend to any girl.

"You're staring at me." his voice snaps me out of my thoughts when his gaze meets mine. "Do I have something on my face?"

I should tell him what the girl told me. He could use some praises on his account.

"Blond girl next to us thinks you're cute." I lean closer to him, so I can whisper. "She asked me if you had a girlfriend."

Before he can reply, Eric shows up on the stage. After few moments of wrestling with the microphone, he's finally prepared to start.

"Hey, guys!" he calls to us. "I'm Eric and this is my homeboy Matt on the drums. My first poem is called 'Untitled'."

I brace myself for the worst possible poem I can imagine. It doesn't help. This is _worse _than anything I can imagine.

"Come my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins!" Eric's voice is full of drama, but _for some reason_, it hurts my ears and brain. "Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!"

"Please, don't tell anyone I know him." Simon's tone is quite close to ultimate despair.

"Please, don't tell anyone _I_ know him." I whisper back, not wanting to insult so loudly that the entire room can hear it. I think Simon can handle me not liking Eric's poetry, since he barely keeps himself sit on the chair. Before he can run away and leave me here to endure this torment ( it's quite a coincidence that Eric mentions that exact word at the same moment ) alone, I point at the blond girl. "Anyway, about that girl over there who thinks you're cute ... "

"I want to talk to you about something." Simon interrupts me so suddenly that I stare at him in surprise for few moments.

"Furious mole is not a good name for a band." I say the moment I recover from the surprise. It's what Simon usually wants to talk about. His band has changed more names than all the bands on the planet together.

"Not that." he shakes his head. "It's what we've talked about before. About me not having a girlfriend."

_O._ I shrug, not wanting to make a mistake. I'm used to having Simon by my side all the time and I know that would change if he had a girlfriend. On the other hand, he's my best friend and I want him to be happy.

"Is there anyone specific?" I dose curiosity in my voice carefully. "Have you asked her out already?"

"No." Simon's face suddenly becomes a mix of red and green.

"You're not gay, are you?" it's unusual for Simon to feel so awkward about something, even though dating isn't something he's really familiar with. So, I've had to ask.

"If I was, I'd dress better." he doesn't seem relieved.

"So, who is it?" I ask, but at the moment I say the words, I hear someone sing a familiar melody.

"_I went into the club, and there I got high._" a female voice sings.

"_I tried to dance, but I was high. _

_I see invisible people and I know why, _

_hey, hey, because I got high, _

_because I got high,_

_because I got high._"

For a moment, I wonder why nobody complains. It's rude to interrupt reading poetry, even if it's as awful as Eric's. But, then the voice speaks.

"C'mon, Jace, sing with me." she says and I freeze.

"_I'll tell her that I love her 'cause I got high._" another familiar voice starts to sing.

"_She doesn't feel the same, so I'll get high. _

_I'm a total loser and I know why, _

_hey, hey, because I got high, _

_because I got high, _

_because I got high._"

I turn around and see them sitting lazily on the green sofa, like they own Java Jones. The boy and the girl from Pandemonium. Jace and Jamie, two crazy people I hoped I would forget as soon as possible. But, obviously I'm not so lucky.

"What is it?" I hear Simon asking me, but I don't even have to look at him to know that he can't see the pair that's smirking at us.

Jace raises his hand and waves at me. Jamie whispers something in his ear and he chuckles. In a moment, they are both on their feet, heading for the exit.

I know I should stay where I am, pretending that I haven't heard or seen anything. But, I can't. I have to prove to myself that I'm not crazy.

"I'll be right back." I put my cup on the table and run after them, leaving stunned Simon behind my back. I know he deserves an explanation, but I can't give it to him. Not yet, at least.

When I burst through the door, I look around almost frantically, afraid that I've lost them again and that every proof that speaks against my madness has just vanished. But, I find them leaned on the wall in the alley, their eyes wandering between each other and me.

"That was the most awful poetry I've ever heard." Jamie says when her eyes stop on me.

"What?" I raise my eyebrows. They have followed me here to tell me Eric's poetry sucks? What a waste of time. Like I don't know that.

"It sounded like he'd eaten up a dictionary and started vomiting up words at random." Jace adds, making his sister, or friend, or girlfriend or whatever she is, chuckle.

"I don't care about Eric's poetry." I snap at them. "Why are you following me?"

"Are we?" Jamie smirks, but I'm not in the mood for playing games.

"Tell me what this is all about or I'll call the police." I threaten, but my threat is less dangerous than a claw-less kitten.

"I worked so hard on the words for the song and you've just ruined it." Jamie's voice is full of false hurt. "Do you want me to sing it again? Maybe you'll get the message, little girl."

"I told you before." I growl. I'm getting tired of this insolent girl whose every word is a mockery. "My name isn't 'little girl'. It's Clary."

"You can't really say we're lying, can you?" Jace's eyes are mocking me as well. "I haven't seen many people shorter than you. Werewolves on four feet are taller than you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I'm getting tired of Jace too. I've never met anyone as annoying as the two of them. With all girls in my school, that says something.

"Why would someone as ignorant as you be able to see us?" Jamie's eyes scan me from head to toe and the only honest feeling on her face is scorn. "You look and think like any other mundane."

"What's a mundane?" I know she wants me to ask the question, so she can enjoy my "ignorance", but I don't manage to stop myself.

"Someone of the human world." Jace replies. Do they always talk like this, each saying every other sentence? Not even Simon and I would do such thing and people consider _us_ a crazy pair of friends.

"And you're not human?" I raise an eyebrow. I wonder what their answer will be. Maybe they are two reptiles dressed as humans. Their gazes and words are so poisonous that I wouldn't be too surprised to find out that they are in fact two snakes.

"We're not like you." to my surprise, Jace speaks twice in a row. He sounds like he couldn't care less if I believed him or not. He sounds bored. Jamie's expression reflects the same boredom.

"You think you're better than us." their open scorn makes me angry. If they are bored, why don't they just leave us alone? "That's why you were laughing at us."

"I was laughing at you because declarations of love amuse me, especially when unrequited." Jace smirks.

"I was laughing because Hodge thinks you're dangerous." Jamie adds with the identical smirk. "This could make me think he's becoming senile."

"I'm dangerous?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. "You killed that boy in the club yesterday and you're calling me dangerous?"

"Don't worry, we've realized our mistake already." Jamie crosses her arms over her chest. "At least we know what we are, what we do and why. I doubt you can say the same for yourself."

"I'm an ordinary human being." I say furiously.

"Let me see your right hand." Jace ignores my fury and stretches his hand out, like I couldn't have a single reason not to let a crazy stranger who kills people to touch me.

"If I do that, will you leave me alone?" that's all I want. I want to go back inside, to Simon and forget this whole bloody conversation ever happened.

"Yes." it's amazing that simple word can sound like mockery when it comes out of his mouth.

I have no choice but to hope he'll keep his word, so I stretch my hand out. He takes it in his and turns it over. His eyeing of my hand makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't know what he is looking for or if that even exists.

"Nothing." he says and I'm almost sure I hear disappointment in his voice. "You're not left-handed, are you?"

"No." I take my right hand in my left when he lets it go, like it is my child, whom I have to protect. "Why?"

He ignores me and glances at Jamie. They don't say a thing, but I can swear they're planning something. Like the fact they kill people isn't bad enough, these lunatics obviously can communicate with their minds.

"We should go." there is only one reason why he would shift back to talking out loud.

"You said you'd leave me alone." I protest.

"I lied." he smirks. "Hodge's orders were not to return to the Institute without you. He wants to talk to you. You can't even imagine what we'll have to suffer if we disobey him."

"Who is Hodge?" my voice slightly trembles despite all my effort.

"The evil boss who orders us to kill people he doesn't like." tone of Jamie's voice tells me she is mocking me again, but that doesn't mean I want to meet this Hodge. I don't want to meet anyone who has anything to do with them.

"Why would he want to talk to me?" I try to think of something to buy myself time. Simon will look for me soon. If I'm surrounded by normal people, they can't kidnap me.

"You know the truth now." Jace's voice suddenly becomes serious. "You're the first mundane to know about us after at least a hundred of years."

"About _us_?" I repeat after him. "You mean people like you. People who believe in demons."

"We are Shadowhunters." Jamie says. "Though, you'll hear different names, depending on the company. Downworlders prefer less flattering names for us."

"Downworlders?" I repeat without thinking.

"Night Children. Warlocks. Fair folk. Werewolves." to my surprise, she restrains herself from any other comment.

"Yeah, you've forgotten vampires and zombies." I say sarcastically, but my sarcasm just amuses her.

"The Night children and the vampires are the same thing, _mundane_." she emphasizes the last word in mocking tone. "But, I can't say your ignorance is surprising. Your kind is truly pitiful."

"Look, Hodge will explain you all this when you see him." Jace says impatiently, but I can tell he's obviously amused by our bickering. Not to mention that we all know Jamie is beating me.

"What if I don't want to see him?" I cross my arms over my chest, trying to look brave and bad-ass, but it just makes them laugh again. I can't help myself but to think they'd laugh no matter what I do. If I resist, they laugh because they know they are stronger. If I surrender, they laugh because they think I'm weak.

"That's your problem." Jace says when they stop laughing. "You're coming with us, willingly or unwillingly."

"Are you threatening to _kidnap_ me?" on the other hand, I shouldn't have expected any better from cold-blooded killers.

"If you want to think yourself so special, you're free to do so." Jamie rolls her eyes. "Just tell us, we'll hit you, you'll lose consciousness and we're ready to go."

I open my mouth to reply, but my cell-phone starts to ring.

"You may answer that." Jamie offers me. "We'll hit you after you're done talking then."

I take the phone out of my pocket, hoping I could tell the person who's calling that I'm about to be kidnapped. I don't know if I'm relieved or frightened when I see it's my Mum who's calling. I press the 'ANSWER' button, but I still have no idea what I'm going to say or what I'm going to hear.

"Mum?" I choose the safest option for now.

"Clary, thank God." she doesn't sound like herself. Her voice is full of panic.

"Mum, I'm fine." I try to calm her down, although I know perfectly well I won't be soon. "I'm on my way home ... "

"No!" she yells so loudly that my ears hurt. "Don't come home. Go to Simon's and stay there."

"Mum, what's happening?" now I'm seriously frightened. I hear noise in the background, like something has been broken, but Mum's voice draws my attention back.

"Clary, listen to me." she's breathing hardly. "Call Luke and tell him _he_ has found me ..."

Something on the other side of the line interrupts her again. Something breaks again, someone is yelling. I can feel my heart jump into my throat.

"Mum." I manage to mumble. "Are you alright? Who's found you? What ... "

"I love you, Clary." it's the last thing I hear before the call ends.

**You'll maybe say: 'How did Jamie and Jace find out about the song? Shadowhunters don't listen to mundane music.' Well, theoretically, they could hear it in the club or in a bar, and you can't say that's not a catchy melody :) I'll probably mention more 'mundane' songs in this story. Of course, I own none of them. But, all the grammatical and spelling mistakes in this story are mine and I apologize for them, I hope they didn't bother you too much. And, in the end, I hope you liked the chapter :)**


	7. Chapter 4: Jace

**Here is another chapter. I hope you'll like it :)**

The gaze Clary gives us when her phone goes down is full of despair, panic and helplessness.

It catches me slightly off guard, making me feel uncomfortable. From what I've heard of her conversation, her mother is in some kind of danger. If Clary was an ordinary mundane, I'd hardly be worried. What kind of danger could an ordinary woman be in? But, Clary can see us without knowing who we really are. She's not as ordinary as she seems. And that means her mother probably faces something much worse than a broken limb.

It's obvious that Clary needs comfort. She needs someone to tell her that everything will be alright. And there is no-one here but us. Jamie won't do it, that's sure as the sunset. I could do it, but why? I don't know her and she doesn't know me.

Clary's eyes, green like emeralds, wander from me to Jamie and back for few moments, before they stop on me.

"Give me your phone." suddenly, she moves forward to take the Sensor out of my hand.

I surprise myself by letting her do it. But, she won't have any use of it. At least not the use she wants.

She realizes that quite soon. She puts my Sensor in her pocket and then starts to run. I have a strange feeling I'll never see that gadget in one piece again.

"Hey, where do you think ... "

"Let her go." I grab Jamie's forearm before she can run after Clary and knock her down. "We'll catch her."

"Why should I chase her the entire day when I could be done with it in just a few seconds?" she snorts, but her muscles relax. I remove my hand from her forearm when I'm sure she won't start running.

"We'll give her a head-start." I grin. "Otherwise, it'd be no fun."

"Chasing after a mundane." Jamie's voice is full of sarcasm. "Where exactly is the fun in that?"

"In knowledge that we could even have a drink now and still catch her." I put my hands in my pockets and start walking in the direction Clary has gone. "But, I'm not in the mood for a drink. So we're going to her place at once."

Jamie catches up with me in a moment.

"You know where she lives?" she checks.

"Of course." I fake shock on my face. "You know I always do my tasks properly."

"Yeah, right." she smirks. "If they have anything to do with any girl."

"Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Jamie?" I'm not quite sure what I want to hear. Even if she says it is, it will be a joke. And I don't want it to be a joke. I've been in love with her for little less than a year and still haven't found the perfect moment, or better said, courage, to admit it to her.

"Of course." she puts her hands on her chest over her heart and sighs dramatically. "I'm a broken-hearted little girl who just desperately wants to be with you."

"I knew it." I keep playing the game, despite the hurt I feel inside. This is the only secret I've managed to hide from her. Now it's not a good time to reveal it. We have to find Clary first. She is the most important now. "You can't live without me, can you?"

"I'm dying just at the thought." she rolls her eyes, showing that she's had enough of this game. She wants to play another one, called 'catch the mundane'. The game is very simple, but she still wants to win it. She just wants to find Clary and be done with it. At this particular moment, it feels like I'm looking at Alec in female form.

"We'll discuss your hopeless love for me later." I pat her shoulder theatrically, but I still worry that she'll feel how fast my heartbeat is. "Let's find the mundane first."

* * *

Clary's house is just one in the line of the little houses made of brick in the block. Surrounded by small garden full of pretty rose-bushes, half-covered with ivy, it looks like one of those commercials for perfect life. I can imagine some lawyer coming out of a fancy black car, going into the house to greet his wife and two children, a boy and a girl, of course. The wife has just made delicious dinner and the kids have done their homework and can't wait to tell their father all about good marks they got today at school.

But, in the reality, there is no perfect family on the door of this house. There is only Jamie by my side as we enter it. Though, I wouldn't change her, not even for Jonathan Shadowhunter himself. I doubt he has as good sense of humour as she does.

There is one door in the corridor to our left and stairs in front of us. I head for the door, but then I hear noise coming from upstairs. I glance at Jamie, wanting to warn her not to rush, but there's no use. She's already skipping two stairs at the time, like bringing Clary to the Institute has been all her idea and she hasn't complained about it at all. For a moment, I wonder where that sudden concern for Clary's well-being has come from, but another sound from upstairs that sounds like broken glass falling on the floor makes me forget all about it. I follow Jamie at once, biting my lip, worrying that we've arrived too late.

Jamie stops at the door of the apartment on upper floor. It is wide open, but there are no sounds coming from it now. Still, she glances inside for a moment and then turns around to look at me. I raise my eyebrows and she nods, taking her _sai_ out of her gear. I do the same with my blades and then we enter the apartment.

Jamie's back are leaned against the left wall, mine against the right. We move soundlessly deeper into the apartment. The furniture is broken, floors are covered with dust, but we see no source of that destruction. No-one in the corridor. No-one in the common room. No-one in the kitchen. No-one in the dinning ...

Clary lies on her back with her eyes closed, a Ravener demon on top of her. I open my mouth to yell something in order to distract it, but then I notice something strange. Demon's outlines are becoming more blurred with every second. It's dying, vanishing here to take its form in its own dimension again. The last thing I notice before it dissolves completely is my Sensor in its mouth. Like I've thought, I'll never see that thing again.

"I can't believe it." Jamie whispers next to me. "She killed it."

"There is obviously more in her than it seems at first sight." I kneel down next to the unconscious girl, put my blades into my gear and then put my arms under her knees and back.

In a second, I'm on my feet again, but this time I hold Clary in my arms. Her weight is hardly something I can't cope with, so I raise my eyebrows when I see Jamie still standing in front of me, her eyes on Clary's face. I want to ask her why we are still hanging around, but she speaks before me.

"Beginner's luck." she frowns at Clary, although the other girl can't hear her, so the insult doesn't really make sense. Jamie has never been the one to talk behind others' back. People know exactly what she thinks of them. If she likes them, she tells them so. If she scorns them, she tells them so.

"If we don't move soon, she won't survive long enough to hear this evaluation." I suddenly feel mad at Jamie. This is an extraordinary achievement for a mundane. Or at least for someone who has spent her entire life living as one. Maybe it was beginner's luck, maybe it wasn't, but Jamie can't deny Clary has saved herself.

Jamie's eyes are cold when she looks at me, but she says nothing. She heads for the door and searches the corridor for any possible threat before we start to descent down the stairs. We pass the door in the ground-floor, but Jamie stops at the exit of the house.

"Crap." she spits. "Cops."

"They can't see us." I protest, but she shushes me with a wave of her hand.

"Only the mundanes can't." she hisses. "And some things there aren't mundanes."

"We can't stay here." I mumble as she looks outside again. "Even mundanes could notice an unconscious girl levitating."

I put Clary down on the floor and start to look for any injury. I doubt she lost consciousness because of pure fear, somehow she seems too tough for that. After few moments, I find the answer. A big bruise on the back of her neck has unhealthy dark purple colour and the skin around it is pale as if it had no blood streaming under it.

"Jamie." I point at the wound.

"Her shirt." she grabs Clary's arm and tears the piece of Clary's sleeve off. As she tears the piece into first strip, Clary suddenly gasps and opens her eyes.

"Don't move." I say as I try to bandage the wound with the strip Jamie has handed me.

I have no idea why I've bothered. I knew she wouldn't listen anyway.

"I told you not to move." I frown at her after she's tried to lift her head and flinched in pain. Her head is back on the floor at once. "It's not much of a sting, since it was half-dead, but we have to get you to the Institute. Hold still."

"That thing ... " Clary's whole body is trembling, just like her voice. "It talked."

"The demon in the club talked too." Jamie interferes sarcastically while handing me another strip. "I wonder why you didn't believe that one was demon too. Maybe you thought it was handsome."

"Jamie, this is not a good time." I glance at her and she rolls her eyes, saying 'You're ruining all the fun.' without words.

"After." I shape the word with my lips, careful that Clary doesn't hear it.

"The demon in Pandemonium." Clary tries to look at Jamie, but I put my hand or her forehead to keep her still. "It looked like a person."

"Phasmids look like branches." Jamie adds me the last strip, not bothering to even look Clary in the eyes. "Does that make them plants?"

Clary falls silent for few moments. I catch Jamie's gaze, rebuking her silently for being so rude toward half-conscious person whose mother has obviously disappeared. But, Jamie just rolls her eyes again, not caring for Clary's feelings. I can't deny that she's right, but a little compassion for Clary wouldn't hurt at the moment. She can tease her all she wants when we're safe in the Institute, I won't mind. I'll probably join her. But, she has to restrain herself now.

"It said it was going to eat me." Clary interrupts the silence again.

I look at Jamie, worrying she'll come up with some sarcastic answer again. To my surprise, her mouth is closed. She lays her eyes on Clary for a moment and then rolls her eyes at me again.

_If you don't stop doing that, your eyes will fall out._ I smirk at her and she does it once again, just to annoy me.

_Comfort your little friend._ I can't miss the sarcasm in her features. _I'm getting tired of her. Tell her whatever you want, just make her shut up. If you don't, I will and my way won't be nearly as pleasant as yours._

"But, it didn't." I finish the knot on the back of Clary's neck. "You killed it."

Clary raises her head slowly and manages to sit. She avoids looking at Jamie, so her green eyes focus on me.

"My Mum is missing." she says to me, like I should jump on the horse like a true Prince Charming and hurry to her mother's rescue. "We should call the police and ... "

"The police is already out there." I interrupt her. "Someone must have heard screams coming from your apartment and reported it."

"So, why don't we ..."

"Because some of them aren't real cops." I try to think of a plan to get out of here unnoticed by the mundanes at least, but nothing crosses my mind. "Demons have their ways of covering their tracks. So, some of them take forms of cops."

"If she weren't a bloody mundane, we'd have some chance." Jamie snorts, her words sounding like Clary isn't even there. "How can we get out of here unnoticed if twenty mundanes can see her? It'd be easier to smuggle blood under vampire's noses."

_Mundane. See. Blood._ Jamie's words flow through my mind, forming an idea. It's risky. If I'm wrong, Clary is lost. There won't be a way back for her. We'll have to kill her. But, there is no other choice. If we want to make our way through the cops, we have to be invisible at least to the most. And there is only one way to achieve that.

I take my stele out of my belt and grab Clary's hand before either of the girls can protest. In a couple of seconds, the rune is over. Clary stares at it, half-shocked, half-amazed. Jamie stares at me just shocked.

"What's that supposed to do?" Clary asks me and I separate my eyes from Jamie's.

"It'll hide you." I answer, looking at her. "Temporarily."

Her eyes then look at the stele in my hand. I put it back where it belongs and then look at her again.

"My stele." I say simply.

She doesn't ask what it is. Her eyes are closing again. But, it's not what I've been afraid of. She's not turning into a Forsaken. I've been right, she has Shadowhunters' blood in her veins. Now we have to make sure she lives long enough to discover whom she got it from.

I catch her before her head can fall down on the floor again and take her in my hands. Jamie doesn't even offer to help me. She still looks at me as if I went mad.

"Are you out of your mind?!" she hisses at me. "Putting a rune on a mundane?"

"I've just proven she's not a mundane." I stand up straight, swinging my head to show her to move. "Now that we're all hidden, we should get going."

I see Jamie is on brink of starting a fight with me over the recklessness of my action, but in the end she decides there's no use now. What's done is done. Clary isn't a Forsaken and we can avoid mundane cops. Everyone wins. Besides, she knows I'll hear everything from Hodge and Alec. No matter how mad at me she is, she won't be the one to rebuke me. She's always been on my side, like I've been on hers. That will never change, especially not because of the delicate girl I carry in my arms.

**I've never believed in that Romeo-Juliet thing about love on first sight, so I don't believe Jace has fallen for Clary in a second. ( I know he says differently in CoG, but I still don't believe it. ) He'll fall for Clary eventually in this story, but in time. For the time being, he's still closer to Jamie, but very small signs of Clary coming between them were visible in this chapter. So, this was the first act of the drama :) Thank you all for the support and I apologize for any grammatical mistake. O, and happy Easter to all who celebrate :)**


	8. Chapter 5: Clary

**Here's another chapter. And it's from Clary's POV again because she's the only character who could connect all the events in it.**

**An answer for a worried guest: This story will be mix of Jace/OC and Jace/Clary. But, I can't tell you who he will end up with. In the last author's note I just wanted to point out that he would soon be in love with both of them, not just with Jamie. Sorry if that confused you.**

**I don't own the song 'Apologize'. It belongs to One Republic, Timberland and all people who did an instrumental cover. Though, I'm in love with it, instrumental cover especially. I can listen to it over and over again and never get bored. **

**That's about it for this author's note. I hope you'll enjoy the chapter :)**

When I open my eyes, I feel like I've slept for thousand years. Everything around me is blurred. My limbs feel heavy, like my heart didn't have enough strength to pump blood in them while I was 'out'.

When I finally manage to focus, I notice I'm lying in a bed, covered with thin white sheets. It's one of the beds in the line in quite large room. There are two beds on my left side and at least six of them on my right. Next to my head is a small nightstand. Only few rays of daylight are allowed to be in the room, the rest of the widows covered by curtains. But, I can still hear sounds of the traffic outside. I guess I'm still in New York.

"Finally." someone says and I jump slightly, earning myself a shot of pain in head and neck. "We all thought you'd die in your sleep."

Having no idea how I didn't notice her before, I see a black-haired girl coming toward me. To my great relief, it's not Jamie, this girl has black eyes. Or very dark brown, there is not enough light and my head isn't clear enough to tell the difference. But, I remember I've seen her in the club and that means she's one of them too.

"Sorry to disappoint you." I mumble, but it doesn't sound as impressive as wanted it to. I remember with how much sarcasm and mockery Jamie treated me the last time I met one of the demon-hunters, so I plan to strike back. Even if it's the wrong demon-huntress whom I'm being sarcastic toward. "Is this the Institute?"

"I knew we shouldn't have sent Jace and Jamie after you." she sighs and rolls her eyes. "Did they blab absolutely everything to you?"

I have no idea what 'everything' is supposed to mean, but I don't ask more questions. I try to get up, so my limbs wouldn't feel so numb anymore, but the sudden pain in my stomach makes me gasp. I put my hand on my belly, feeling like somebody has just stabbed me.

"Drink this." the girl hands me a cup of something. I don't even wonder if it might be poisoned, I just want to stop the pain. "You haven't eaten anything in three days. That's probably the reason you feel sick."  
_Three days._ it slowly reaches my head as I drink. The liquid is tasty, but the most important thing, it makes the pain go away. _I've lost three days. My Mum is still gone._

"What is this?" I ask, trying to distract myself.

"One of Hodge's tisanes." she replies. "They always work."

_Hodge._ I remember Jamie and Jace mentioning that name couple of times. _The evil boss who orders us to kill people he doesn't like._ I'm ninety-nine percent sure Jamie was mocking me, but I still swallow more hardly than usually.

"Hodge?" I repeat the name. "That's your boss?"

"Our boss?" the girl raises her eyebrows for a moment, but then chuckles. "Jamie told you that, didn't she?"

I nod.

"Don't believe anything she says." she rolls her eyes. "Ninety-five percent of things that come out of my sister's mouth are irony, sarcasm or mockery or all three together. Hodge is our tutor, not our boss."

"OK." I feel relieved. Tutor doesn't sound so scary.

"I'm Isabelle Lightwood, by the way." she says while getting up from my bed.

"Clary Fray." I introduce myself, though I'm not sure if I should give any information about myself away to crazy strangers. On the other hand, they have found me, so they probably already know everything they need to know about me. "Did they bring me here? Jace and Jamie, I mean."

"Yes." Isabelle nods. "My Mum would have killed them if she had been here. Your blood completely destroyed the carpet in the entryway."

_I'm terribly sorry. They should have left me to die. What's my miserable life compared to a carpet?_ I don't let the sarcasm escape my mouth. I have enough trouble with one sister, it'd probably be a bad idea to make an enemy of the other too.

Isabelle's eyes narrow when she looks at me again.

"Jace said you'd killed that demon all by yourself." I can hear the unspoken part too. _I totally don't believe that._

"I guess I did." I flinch slightly when I remember the scorpion-looking thing that threatened to eat me. I have no idea how I managed to kill it and I'm sure I don't want to talk about it, so I change the subject. "Where is Jace anyway? Is he around?"

"In his room. Or in Jamie's." Isabelle replies nonchalantly.

"Are they, like, twins or something?" I snort at the thought of the two of them. I don't know what are they like on their own, but together they are insufferable combination. "Do they always talk in pair, like, one saying one sentence and the other the next one?"

"Try to suggest idea about being twins to them." Isabelle giggles. "They'll laugh in your face."

_Like they don't do that all the time._ I frown.

"So, they are not twins?"

"No. Unfortunately, Jamie is _my_ twin sister." when I open my mouth to ask why they don't look alike, she rolls her eyes, as if reading my mind. "We're not identical twins, thank the Angel. Imagine I'm unsociable as she is. I'd be living in the worst possible nightmare."

I restrain myself from comments about Jamie. No matter how much Isabelle pretends she doesn't love her sister, she'd surely make me regret my words if they spoke badly of Jamie. And I can't think of one thing I like about Jamie right now.

"There is a bathroom over there." Isabelle points at the door on the other side of the room when I don't answer. "I left some of my old clothes there. I doubt it'll fit you perfectly, but it's the best I could find."

"It's alright." I mumble, barely listening, but some part eventually reaches my brain. "What happened to _my_ clothes?"

"They were covered in blood and poison." Isabelle shrugs. "Jace burned them."

_How kind of him._ I try my best not to roll my eyes.

"Is he always so rude or he saves that just for the mundanes?" I snort, forgetting all about not asking for trouble with Isabelle. "Or is he like that just when Jamie is around?"

"He's polite _only_ when Jamie is around." Isabelle grins. "Rudeness makes him sexy. But, my sister can kill sexiness in everyone. Sad, but true."

I don't even notice I'm biting my lip in shock. Isn't Jace ...

"Isn't he your brother?" I ask. I don't have any siblings, but if I did, I'd never use the word 'sexy' to describe my brother.

"Who, Jace?" Isabelle laughs out loud. "Of course not. Why did you think so?"

"He lives here with you." I point out. "And he and Jamie act like siblings, so I thought ... "

"Trust me, Jamie and Jace are everything but brother and sister." Isabelle still grins at me. "There are some things you don't share with your brother, but you can share them with your best friend."

"I know that." I remember Simon. He must be so worried that I left Java Jones and haven't been heard from for three days. I make a mental note to call him as soon as I get my hands on the phone. "I have such friend."

"No, you don't." Isabelle's features suddenly become serious. "They tell each other absolutely everything. Even the most uncomfortable stuff. What do you think, who was the first to find out about Jamie getting her period?"

My mouth open. Alright, I've never confessed _that_ to Simon. But, I could tell him, if I thought he'd want to hear about it. Somehow, I doubt it. Is Jace really so interested in girls' troubles? That truly makes him weirder than he already is.

"Why did she tell him that?" I feel awkward for asking, but Isabelle doesn't mind.

"She didn't know what it was at the time." her eyes suddenly aren't looking at me, but at the memory inside her mind. "She was injured in a fight and when she kept bleeding despite medications, she thought she was dying. The only person she said goodbye to was Jace. He was devastated. When I saw him looking like that, I thought he wouldn't last two days without her. When they fight together, it seems like they can read each other's mind. You could point at any two people beside them and say they are the closest that two persons can get and I'd call you a liar. Jace and Jamie are like one person. She's my twin sister, but I'll never be as close to her as Jace is."

I try to think of something to say, but nothing crosses my mind. Isabelle's words are so honest, so convinced. She really believes nothing can surpass the strong bond Jace and Jamie have. I feel so proud of my friendship with Simon, but still there are some things I'd feel uncomfortable if I talked to him about them, my periods being one of them. It seems there are no such obstacles in Jace's and Jamie's friendship.

"But, Jace lives here with you." I change the subject fast. "Why doesn't he live with his own parents?"

I curse myself the moment I ask the question. In the last few seconds, I've managed to change Isabelle's expression from laugh, to seriousness, to anger.

"His mother died when he was born." she said through her teeth. "And his father was murdered when he was ten. Jace saw the whole thing."

_Jamie surely knows all about it._ the voice in my head snorts, but I can't be that malicious out loud.

"Was it ... demons?" I ask quietly, ashamed of myself and my curiosity.

"Look, that's not my story to tell." Isabelle says after few moments of silence. "I'll tell the others that you've woken up. You wait here and I'll come back with Hodge. But, you should go to the bathroom and clean yourself a little bit. You smell."

I've obviously pissed her off enormously. Either that or she is naturally rude like her sister. I hope that it's the first at hand. I need a friend, or at least an ally, in this unknown place.

"Thanks a lot." I say ironically, but she doesn't care.

"Any time."

* * *

After I'm done showering and dressing ( Isabelle's clothes look ridiculously on me, being at least two sizes too large, but I have no choice ), I leave the large room that's most likely the infirmary and start wandering through the place called the Institute. Its corridors are cold, covered in shadows, which isn't really helping me. I feel goose bumps appearing on my skin, so soon I start to walk faster.

My heartbeat pounds so loudly in my ears that I almost miss a sound coming from one of the rooms I pass by. It sounds like piano. The door of the room the music comes from is slightly open, so I can hear it quite clearly. I come closer and put my hand on the doorknob when I hear voices.

"Does the lady want me to play something else?" Jace asks and I don't have to think twice about who the said lady is.

"Something from twenty-first century." Jamie chuckles, but her voice is gentle when she says: "Play 'Apologize', please."

"My lady's wish is my command." Jace replies, snapping his fingers.

The familiar melody soon fills the room. It's on the radio all the time these days, but Jace's instrumental version sweeps me of my feet. I could stand here for centuries just listening to him playing it. I catch myself whispering the words of the song. It's so beautiful.

When the sound disappears, Jace's voice snaps me out of the calmness the music has surrounded me with.

"Was it good?" he asks and I can hear he really cares about the answer.

"It was so brilliant that I'm considering forcing you to play it one more time." there is no malice in Jamie's words, only happiness and devotion. I almost can't believe I'm listening to the conversation of the same people who mocked me so much in front of Java Jones. They are so different when they are alone. They are so gentle toward each other. It doesn't sound like friendship to me. It sounds like love.

"If my lady commands me to play it once more, I'll do it." Jace laughs and Jamie joins him.

"I'm no lady, sir." she says. "I'm just an ordinary girl who kills demons for living."

"Is that what ordinary girls do?" he chuckles.

"Some of them." Jamie replies. "And some of them ..."

For some reason, I can't hear her anymore. I lean closer to the door, trying to hear what she's saying, but suddenly the door open in front of me and I burst into the room, almost falling on the floor in the process. I know my face is probably as red as my hair, but I find the strength to face them.

"Our own Sleeping Beauty." Jace smirks when our eyes meet. There is no more gentleness in either his features or his voice. "Who finally kissed you awake?"

I notice they are both sitting at the piano, their shoulders touching. But, they don't look uncomfortable with being so close to each other. Maybe Isabelle is right. Maybe they truly are just friends.

"Nobody." I snort, annoyed by the fact he thinks of me as of a damsel in distress. "I woke up on my own."

"Took you long enough." Jamie's features shape the smirk too. "Was there somebody when you woke up? Invisible people? Demons? Wine small flies?"

"Isabelle was." I refuse to fall into her trap. "She told me to wait and went off to get Hodge, but ... "

"As a good little girl, you gladly did what you'd been told." Jamie finishes my sentence sarcastically.

Jace's gold eyes study me for few moments.

"That's Isabelle's clothes, isn't it?" he doesn't wait for an answer. "It looks ridiculously on you."

_I_ can insult myself like that. There's no way I'll let _Jace_ insult me like that.

"You burned mine." I frown.

"Trust me, you'd never wear those again anyway." Jamie gets up on her feet and Jace follows her after a second. There's no way they would accidentally collide while getting up, so I can laugh at them. Too bad. "Let's take you to Hodge."

I have no choice but to follow them. If I didn't, they'd knock me down and drag me to him. I still remember that Jamie's generous offer. They walk two steps in front of me in silence, not even looking at each other, but I can imagine them mocking at me without words. It's not like I haven't seen their ability of mind-talking before. It annoys me so much that I have to interrupt the silence just to distract them.

"Why does this place have so many bedrooms?" I ask the first thing that crosses my mind. We've passed by so many rooms that it seems logical for a stranger to ask that question.

"Every Shadowhunter that requests shelter must get it." Jace answers, not even turning around to look at me. "This Institute is large enough for about two hundred people."

"But, most of the rooms are empty." _Not to mention that I've seen only four people here__._

"No matter what you think of us, we don't need ten rooms each to feel comfortable." Jamie sneers. "Only Alec, Isabelle, Max, our parents, Hodge, Jace and I actually live here. The rest of the Shadowhunters visit the Institute every now and then, but never stay for too long."

"Max?" nobody mentioned Max until now, I'm sure of it.

"My younger brother." Jamie explains. "Alec is my older brother and Izzy is my twin sister."

"By a minute older twin sister." Jace adds, but the moment he says the words, Jamie hits him over the head.

"She didn't need to know that." she hisses, but Jace just laughs.

"Anyway, Max isn't here now. He's with his parents in Idris." he says, ignoring Jamie.

"Idris?" I've never heard of that ... place. "What's that? A city? A country?"

"Shadowhunter home country." he replies. "It's protected by spells, so mundanes can't find it. If they cross into Idris, they're just transported from one border to another, completely oblivious that they've skipped over a country with one step."

"Where is it?" somehow, I'm interested in this matter. A large country hidden under our noses all this time? That sounds cool.

"Between Germany and France." Jace says nonchalantly.

"But, there isn't anything between Germany and France." I try to remember the map of Europe. "Except for Switzerland."

"Have you ever even seen a map of Europe in your life?" Jamie looks at me like I'm a four-year-old. "There are Belgium and Luxembourg between Germany and France too. Haven't you learned anything about World War II? How Germans went over the Ardennes to conquer France? That's your history, _mundane_, and I know it better than you."

"Calm down, Jamie." Jace is obviously having fun. I'm not sure if it's Jamie's reaction or my ignorance that amuses him. "Not all people share your obsession with history. Maybe she's just not interested in it, or in geography."

I have no idea why Jace has suddenly sided with me. But, I don't complain.

"I'm not obsessed. And if a Shadowhunter knows that part of the history, a mundane should know it too." Jamie snorts. "What's she interested in, then? Sticking her nose in other people's business?"

She talks to Jace like I'm not even here. What does that girl think; that I'll walk after them like a lost puppy who doesn't understand a word they say? But, I do understand them and I won't let someone treat me like this.

"I'm right here." I say coldly and it makes Jamie look at me.

"Unfortunately, you are." she says poisonously. "Let's hope that Hodge decides to send you back where you came from."

"Look, what's your problem with me?" I stop walking, making them stop too. I'm not moving another step further until I find out why she loathes me so much. "What have I done to you? Since the moment I met you, you've been treating me like a piece of junk. Is there a reason for that or you're rude toward everyone?"

They stare at me in silence for few moments, a pair of blue and a pair of gold eyes. I feel goose bumps on my skin again, like their gazes are stabbing me, but I don't let myself turn my gaze away. I'm not as helpless as they think I am. I'll fight for myself.

I'm so focused on Jamie that I notice Jace's movement only when Jamie separates her eyes from me and glances at Jace's hand on her forearm.

"She's not _that_ mundane." he tells her quietly, but I can still hear his words, gentle and encouraging. "Give her a chance, Jamie. Just one, please."

Her eyes glance at me for a moment, but soon they are back on Jace's. They stare at each other for few seconds, but then she sighs and nods.

"I'll try. No promises." but, her features soften when Jace smiles at her. "Stop giggling like a girl, Jace Wayland. C'mon, Hodge will think we've got lost."

"He knows you're leading us, Jamie." Jace grins. "I think he kind of expects it."

His words earn him another hit over the head, but instead of vanishing from his, the grin appears on Jamie's face. I feel like I'm completely redundant. I don't understand what they are laughing at ( although, I'm pretty sure they're not laughing at me, so that kind of comforts me, at least a bit ) and they couldn't have stated more clearly that I don't belong with them. I wish that I had my phone with me ( I have no idea where it ended up after my talk with Mum ), so I could call Luke. I desperately need to see someone that I know and trust. I don't want to involve Simon in my Mum's disappearance, but Luke's been her friend for a long time. He's going to help me find her, as soon as I get out of this place.

They let me enter one of the rooms first. When I pass them by, I find myself in large library. Dozens of bookcases are filled with books, reaching almost to the ceiling. It seems like there are more books in this room than in all other libraries in New York together. I don't even realize I'm holding my breath until an older man approaches me.

"A book lover, I see." he says it like a praise. I'm completely surprised by his kindness. I guess I'm now expecting everyone here to be equally rude as Jace and Jamie.

"How can you tell?" I ask, focusing on him instead on the books.

"By your face expression when you came in." he smiles. "I doubt you were so impressed by me."

_Finally, someone who can be polite toward strangers._ I return the smile.

"I'm Hodge Starkweather." he stretches his right hand while caressing something on his shoulder with his left. "And this is Hugo."

The raven is black as Hodge's shirt, so I misplaced it for some kind of a hunch. Its eyes stare at me sharply, so I choose to look at Hodge's face instead.

"Clary Fray." I shake his hand.

"Honoured to make your acquaintance." he says and I almost giggle. Who speaks like that in twenty-first century, except for Yoda? "I would be honoured to make the acquaintance of anyone who could kill a Ravener with her own bare hands."

It feels weird to be praised for killing something, even if it was a demon.

"I ... Jace gave me that thing and I ... " I'm not allowed to finish my thought, of course.

"I didn't give it to you." Jace interrupts me. "You took it. I guess the runes on it chocked the demon."

"Still, an extraordinary achievement." luckily, Hodge is on my side. "Especially for a mundane girl like yourself. Would you mind ... "

"C'mon, Hodge, I can't believe you buy that story." another voice joins our conversation. The only difference between Jamie's tone and this one is that the new one obviously belongs to a guy. But, the sarcasm and scorn sound completely the same.

I turn around to see Alec sitting on one of the armchairs on the other side of the room. He resembles to both of his sisters and differs from them. They all share hair black as ink. But, Jamie and Alec have identical blue eyes. On the other hand, Jamie's skin is less pale than the skin of her siblings. I can catch glimpses of their features that they all have in common, like slender eyebrows and lines around their mouths.

While I have the feeling Jamie mocks me all the time because she's sure that I can do nothing to strike back, Alec's eyes are full of open hostility. He doesn't like me, that is as clear as day. What have I ever done to this people?"

"What do you mean, Alec?" Hodge raises an eyebrow, watching Alec coming closer to us. "You don't think she killed the demon?"

"Of course she didn't!" he shoots me a scornful gaze. "A little mundane girl killed a demon? You've got to be kidding me!"

"I'm not a little girl!" I protest. I'm tired of that nickname. "I'm sixteen. Or, I'll be on Sunday."

"She's the same age as your sisters, Alec." Hodge shrugs, as that solved everything. "Would you call them children? And be very careful. The bad one is listening."

"I absolutely refuse to be compared to a mundane in any way." the said bad sister announces.

"Jamie and Izzy hail from one of the greatest Shadowhunter dynasties in history." Alec pretends Jamie hasn't said anything. "You can't say that the same as hailing from New Jersey."

"I'm from Brooklyn!" I yell at him, losing control over myself. I won't let this insulting continue for a second longer. Besides, never say to a girl from Brooklyn that she's from anywhere else but Brooklyn. "I killed that demon! If you want to act like a spoilt brat because of it, at least have the decency to do it somewhere where I can't hear you! The same goes for your sisters!"

"Have I just misunderstood it or you've just insulted me, mundane?" Jamie's voice is ironical, irritating me beyond measure. Promise she's made to Jace is obviously invalid.

"You've been insulting me long enough!" I snap at her. "So, whenever you insult me again, I'll insult you too!"

"I wouldn't recommend that." Jace smirks. "You have no chance against Jamie. She's been my sparring partner in insulting for years. She's well trained."

"I don't care!" I hiss. "You're all just a bunch of dickheads who think they're better than others just because they have weapons in their pockets and tattoos on their skin!"

"I could kill you blindfolded and with one hand behind my back." Jamie smirks at me, not even slightly angered by my outburst. "And every person in this room could do it. Yeah, I do think we're better than you."

I can't think of anything to say to that. I know she could execute her threat if she found a good reason to do it. I swallow. Maybe I shouldn't give her any.

"There's no need for violence, Jamie." Hodge still tries to protect me, but we all know I lost this round.

"I didn't hit her." Jamie waves her hand nonchalantly. "I just made sure she would act politely in our home from now on."

"She shouldn't even be here." Alec snorts. "She's a mundane and there are good reasons why they aren't allowed to the Institute. The Clave would punish us if they knew about this."

"The Clave _should_ find out about her." we all turn around to look at Hodge. Alec's, Jamie's and Jace's faces are full of surprise and shock. I'm just confused because I have no idea what the Clave is.

"No." Jace protests. "We can't ... "

"We have no idea who attacked Clary and kidnapped her mother or why." Hodge explains and his words send shivers down my spine. _Attacked_. _Kidnapped_. "We could keep it a secret when we weren't sure she'd recover, but now we can't. You know the rules. If a mundane finds out about us, the Clave must be informed."

"She's not a mundane." Jace says. I can't decide whether the fury hidden in his voice is there because of me or because Hodge opposes him.

"But, I am." I look at him and my gaze meets his. I can't tell what's happening in his head. His face is like a closed door with thousands keyholes and I have none of the keys.

"You aren't." he addresses me directly, but then he glances at Jaime, as if looking for reassurance. She nods calmly and Jace then looks at Hodge. "There were demons in front of her house, dressed like cops. We had to avoid them quickly, or she would have died. I put a _mendelin_ rune on her. I thought ..."

"Are you out of your mind?!" Hodge's shock makes me jump. "Putting a rune on a mundane? What were you thinking, Jace?"

"He was thinking that we should save her." Jamie speaks in Jace's defence in a second. "There was no other way."

Hodge's gray eyes focus on her.

"And you, you should've known better than let him do it!" there is no kind old man here anymore. "Don't you know what she could have become?"

"But, she didn't." Jamie answers calmly. "And if she had, we would have killed her. I let him put a rune on her, but there's no way I'd let a Forsaken wander around out of control."

"Considering how reckless you two are, I wouldn't be too surprised." Hodge sighs.

"Show them, Clary." Jace sounds tired, not even a shadow of the boy who played his friend's favourite song.

I stretch my arm out toward Hodge, who takes it gently in his own and starts to examine it. There are few lines on my wrist, marking a place where the rune used to be. I don't remember that it hurt when Jace drew it there. I still feel normally. It couldn't have changed me, could it?

"You see?" Jace says calmly. "She's fine. It didn't hurt her."

"That's not the point, Jace." Hodge lets my arm go. "She ... "

"The point is she's not a mundane." Jace interrupts him. "And the fact that she has the Clave's blood can explain everything that's happened to her. If her mother is a Shadowhunter in exile, she may have ... "

"She's not." I interfere, shooting him a sharp gaze. "My mother is _not_ a Shadowhunter."

"Your father then." he doesn't get confused. "What about him?"

"He died before I was born." I mumble, looking as his features soften. I remember what Isabelle told me. He knows what it's like to live with only one parent. I hope that I don't find out what he already knows, what it's like to live without parents.

"It's possible." Alec says, calmer than before. "It's against the Law to live with a mundane. Maybe they were hiding."

"My Mum would have told me." I protest, but the fact that my Mum almost never speaks of my father and all the events in the last week are convincing me otherwise.

"Not necessarily." Jace says as if reading my mind. "We all have secrets."

"Luke." I remember. "He'd know. He's been my Mum's friend for a long time. He's probably worried about me. Can I call him, please?"

They all exchange glances. I hold my breath, but then Hodge nods.

"Alright." he says. "Call him."

He points at the old-fashioned black telephone with a rotary dial. I dial Luke's number, trying to ignore the fact everyone's watching me.

"Hello?" the sound of Luke's voice makes relief stream through me. At least he's alright.

"Luke!" I don't hold my breath anymore. "It's me. It's Clary."

"Clary." he says my name, but there is more in his voice than just relief. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." but, I don't want to talk about myself right now. "Do you know what happened? Have you heard from my Mum?"

"The police were here." I can hear in his voice he has no good news to tell me. "They said that she was missing. They don't know anything else. Neither do I."

My hands start to shake. Some small part of me, no matter how small, hoped that Mum managed to run away and hide. But, if she could, she would already contact Luke. I bite my lip, desperately trying to stay strong.

"Clary, where are you?" Luke asks me when I don't answer. I have no idea what to say.

"I'm in the city." _That much is true._ "With some friends." _Over my dead body._ "I lost my wallet, though." _Damn it._ "But if you have some cash, I could take a cab to your place ..."

"No." Luke interrupts me with so much cold intensity in his voice that I flinch.

"What?" maybe I've head wrong. Although I know I haven't.

"It's too dangerous." he says firmly. "You can't come here."

"But ... " I want to protest, but he doesn't let me.

"Whatever your mother has got herself into, it has nothing to do with me." I have never heard that coldness in Luke's voice. It frightens me more than Jamie's threats. "You're better off where you are."

"But, I don't want to stay here." I can perfectly imagine smirks on faces behind my back, but I don't care. "I don't know these people. You ... "

"I'm not your father, Clary." it's Luke's final blow. We both know it is. "Don't call me for favours again. I have enough of my own problems; I don't need to be bothered with yours."

I still hold the phone pressed against my ear, even after he hung up. I can't let it go. I can't let that one hope I had vanish. I can't let myself lose control, because if I do, I have no idea whether I will ever stop crying.


End file.
